Need advice: How do you deal with wife's affair, divorce?

Holy shit! Reading some of this makes me thank God, Jesus, Tebow and any other deity I can think of that I've got a secure marriage to a damn good woman. I think if I'd gone through a tenth of what Not's going through I'd inflict grave bodily harm on someone ... and her attorneys. Sympathy and support being beamed in Not's direction from this corner.

 

Can you see now why we were nagging you to get a lawyer?

Sounds like your lawyer's right on the ball. He (or she?) foiled your ex's plan to take what's rightfully yours.

It sucks that this is continuing, but just remember, it'll eventually be over.

 

Not, I can't emphasize this enough, YOU ARE FINE. While you are disappointed, I'm sure your lawyer figured something like this may happen. In fact, I believe you mentioned a scenario like this in an earlier post when she found out that she might could her loot by declaring residency in the adjoining state.
From where I sit, you are fine. It's going to take a month, hell maybe as long as three months, to get this crap straightened out but don't let this ruin the overall picture of 1, she's out of your life and 2, you're moving on to bigger and better things.
This is a learning experience for you and many others along this thread. There is a lot to be said about the saying, here today, gone tomorrow.
Not, also remember that she is not your friend. She's not going to make this easy for you.

 

You're an impatient person, Not. You do realize that most divorces tend to drag on and on, right? You are lucky that this whole nasty business can be resolved in less than a year.

If it's any consolation, it appears you're winning.

Hugs, xoxoxo

 

I wouldn't say he's impatient. I just don't think he realizes how difficult the process can be.

 

I didn't realize how long and difficult MINE was gonna be. We have no kids, for a long time we were on good terms. Seemed like it would be fairly quick and relatively painless. I assumed that the ones that are long and drawn out and complicated and painful involved kids or large sums of money or shady, despicable people (yeah, I know...). But I never would have guessed wife would drag this out the way she has, or that it would leave me feeling so dirty.

Besides, I was under the impression that yesterday was gonna be the end, so when it wasn't, I was/am pissed. I thought I was about to reach that carrot dangling in front of me, then at the last second it got yanked away. That'll piss anybody off.

 

To me, this sounds like you are winning big time. She's still going to have to give you your share & because she's a greedy bitch, she's going to have to pay her lawyers big time too. Good for you Not. Hang in there.

 

I can empathize with Not. When I found out about my wife's infidelity, I wanted a divorce immediately. I told her, and my lawyers, that I wanted to figure out a way to get it done within a week.

I eventually got it done (via settlement) in roughly two months. My attorneys were shocked and said it was the fastest divorce they had ever handled.

So I get where he's coming from because I was there. I wanted desperately to get this behind me. That said, everyone is right that most divorces drag on for a long, long time.

 

Have an extended family member about to go through this. Wife caught cheating was the tip of the iceberg; background search revealed wonderful thing like convictions for fraud in her past he knew nothing about, her family is nuts and she steals pills...
About to be some real fun stuff, once she gets served with papers today

 

wow.
Not, like I said earlier, YOU ARE FINE. Go out, have a nice dinner, make a pass at the first gal that makes your snake rise, and have fun.
This is a slight bump but look at how far you've come. You still have a ways to go, but damn man, I hope you realize that this nightmare will soon be over.

 

I'm glad I clicked on this thread just now. I wasn't expecting to read "makes your snake rise." How nice for me.

 

I'm wonderful... but this one ain't about me... or making my snake rise..
I'm not the extended family member