Need advice: How do you deal with wife's affair, divorce?

You don't need the attitude either way, since you appear to frame your choice as sit around and wait for her to come back or sit around and stick pins in a voodoo doll that resembles her.

This sucks, and certainly take some time to grieve. But then get on with your life, date other people, make new friends, travel, etc. If she comes back, then you can decide what to do, from a better place. But this way you're not sitting around just waiting for something to happen.

Hang in there.

 

Well, the one bad thing I've wished for her all along is that this relationship with loverboy died. I've said before, I feel like if they lasted, it's almost as if they made the right move with their affair, because they found lasting love. But if it's true that they're finished, it's simply a case of the two of them having no morals and everyone who knows them knows it, and there's absolutely no way to justify what they did. And that makes me happy.

But if they are really finished, I wish her the best in life moving forward. I've said all along that I hope she finds happiness as long as it's not with loverboy. If her life tanks, and she ends up miserable, though, I certainly won't feel pity. I hope that doesn't happen.

I called my lawyer today but he was out, so when I speak to him tomorrow I'm going to ask him to confirm what Google said about 'petition for dismissal' and make sure what I suspect is accurate. Then I'm going to ask if there's any way he can confirm my suspicions. The more I think about wife's actions and behavior recently though, the idea that she and loverboy split seems to make the most sense in accounting for her behavior.

Boy that makes me happy if they've split though! I was in such a good mood this afternoon because of it!

 

This news makes me giggle. What a snatch.

 

*spit take*

 

Not, I'm so happy things are working out. She is getting what she deserves. But if you really want to show her how it feels to be shitted on, I strongly suggest you give her a ring box with shit in it for Valentine's Day. It's the gift that keeps on giving because she'll always know what she did to deserve it. Valentine's Day will definitely have a new meaning for her. Trust me on that.
I don't know if she's into fruit, my ex loved cherries so I stuck a bright red one on the turd, but if she is, put one on. It shows how much you care.

 

you need new material

 

Six years? Wow - that's harsh. My condolences.

When I'm dictator, there's going to be a mandatory two-weeks-for-every-year mourning period for all relationships. And none of this "I was grieving while I was still with them" BS either.

 

Moddy, I've grown tired of your insinuation that I'm fabricating the story. You know how to reach me personally. Do it. I will gladly provide a phone number for you to call my ex to ask her if I am telling the truth. I don't have to lie about anything and it's all that I'm going to say on the subject.
Not, I'm very pleased things are working out for you. My suggestion may not bring closure for you, but it did for me. Everything is not for everybody.

 

Someone who is so full of shit leaving a little in a box, it actually makes sense.

 

now did drip do this or boots?

 

After we split, my ex took up with 3 different guys within a year.

To me, this just indicated:

1) it wasn't MY fault (well some of it was, but not the fundamental problem)

2) if we hadn't split when we did, we would have 3 or 6 months later

3) I was better off being out of the situation.

Haven't talked/communicated with her in almost 2 years; heck, I go weeks without even thinking of her.

Life goes on.