Need advice: How do you deal with wife's affair, divorce?

It's easy to wish ill on someone who has done you wrong. It's much harder to put them out of your memory.
In time, everything balances out.
I think Not is just going through a curiosity stage, which is natural. No one wants to be replaced as a lover and when that happens, it leaves a deep bruise.
But he's well on his way to recovery thanks to many people here.

 

Or still wallowing in self pity six months later, maybe hoping for a mercy fuck from someone who will look at him with sad eyes the whole time.

Depends how you look at it.

 

I've had a mercy fuck. Not a good thing.

 

Final court date is tomorrow afternoon. My lawyer seems to think we won't reach an agreement before then because her side is not being reasonable, so he expects that the judge will have to make a ruling. Curious how that'll work out. Whatever. I just want it to be done. Hopefully we won't have to continue to split the house -- he'll just assign it to one of us, hopefully her. I'm afraid we won't be able to agree on a selling price when the time comes and we'll run into all sorts of problems, nevermind that I don't want to pay for it since I don't live there and can't afford it.

Curiously, wife knows I'm selling my car and I have no idea how. Only family knew it was for sale -- doesn't even have a for sale sign on it. Only posted on craigslist a week ago. So unless she was on my city's craigslist looking for my model of car there's no way she should know. And I can't imagine why she would be on craigslist looking at my model of car -- she has a nearly brand new one of her own already. I'm very curious how she knew. Her lawyer asked my lawyer if it was true that I'm selling my car, so my lawyer e-mailed me to ask if I was. Any suggestions how she could have known?

 

Someone talked but it's no big deal. So she knows you're selling your car.
Concentrate on tomorrow. Sounds like you are getting good advice. Heed it and all the best o you. My prayers go out to you Not. You've been through a tough war but I see a place where peace can be found. Keep us posted.

 

There's also a more stalkerish way she could have found out.
Perhaps if your phone number was listed on the ad, she could have been googling your number just to be nosy and found it that way.
A little odd I know, but we have to remember who we are talking about here.

 

I agree. Either she found out from one of your family, who slipped up and told her or a mutual friend, or she is keeping tabs on you over the Internet, which means she is more obsessive about the situation than you thought.

Either way, it doesn't matter.

I think it's funny that she is not being realistic about the ultimate resolution. Fortunately it will all be over soon. Glad it's coming to an end for you quickly.

 

No phone number on the ad, just a generic craigslist e-mail addy that gets forwarded to my regular one. I'm guessing either somebody told her, I just can't figure out who, or Facebook. My sister pointed out that I mentioned it on my FB page, but the thing is, wife's not on FB. And I've been very careful to keep my distance from her friends on there, and make my profile unviewable and unsearchable. But I guess it's possible she found out through FB somehow. Friend of a friend told her or something. That's the best guess I've got.

As for the resolution, she's being unfair about how much she owes me. My lawyer says her offers aren't even in the ballpark. Guess we'll see what tomorrow brings.

 

Who cares, man?

You need some rebound ass, ASAP.

 

This seems like a woman obsessed with every penny.

Given that her jerk will have to cough up lots of child support (as well as spousal support), I envision her getting a wee bit frustrated with his $ sitch.

I have seen even kind-hearted women turn ugly over child support for kids from their man's prior relationship... To say nothing of the money-grubbing bitches. Then he'll see the ugliness in her and ultimately resent her for making him stiff his kids, either of time or money.

End well, that relationship will not.

 

Serves her right.

 

Indeed.