No Idiots Allowed Fantasy League

Fuck!!! A fucking half-game!!! Fuck!!!

Thanks a lot Dooley! Ahh it's my fault. I should have fed the fucking bird.

 

Hey, I outpointed him; what else d'ya want?

 

I wanted you to win by 3 1/2 pts instead of 2 1/2!!!

It's my damn offense. It's offensive. If I had any offense at all, I would have destroyed Idaho (the poster, not the state). The really fucking annoying thing: I have one asset, speed (ha!! fun with the quote function time!), and I believe Idaho outpointed me in SBs. That's the difference right there.

And to think: I kept Scott Podsednik in my lineup precisely for his speed instead of shelving him for someone who can, you know, produce runs. Fuck.

 

Oh Dools I'm disappointed. I posted something about speed being my best asset and you post the picture of the tired and, let's face it, probably dead bird.

What's wrong with you man?

 

The eight-second thing has been soiling our metaphorical sheets for more than three years running. The bird has been around about a year. And I swap out the birds, to save their energy and slake their hunger.

 

MAYO CLINIC--The Evil Hots today filed tampering charges against Big Dog's Symphony Destruction, alleging Dog is responsible for the mysterious injuries plaguing every member of the Hots.

Injured Hots include Chipper Jones, Griffey, Dye, Schilling, Mariano Rivera, and co-owner 21, who suffered a strained vocal cord after screaming at the Yahoo screen for 15 solid hours.

Hots' other owner Boom_70 was more optimistic, telling reporters, 'We're confident Felipe Lopez can carry the team.'

In related news, 21 was ticketed and charged with reckless driving related to backing up the truck without a license.

 

Go exfoliate your taint with a Brillo pad.

 

FreeHack, you're toast. My boys -- the loosers that they are -- ain't losing to no corporate shills.

 

Since, alas, I did not make the playoffs, I think we should turn to talk of football.
Hots, I know you two are busy right now, but I made you an offer.

 

The Shills will shell your boys all the way from Louisville to Pocatello and back.

Greed is good, my friend. Greed is very, very, very good.

 

Meanwhile, David Ortiz is returning to the lineup today. So is Mike Mussina. Hmmm.