No Idiots Allowed Fantasy League

There are times, dear 21, when the commissioner needs to go to the doctor and isn't tethered to his computer.

And after the doctor, I needed soothing, so I went to see my new stylist Alana, who kept mumbling something about how I have soft hair. I kept mumbling something about how I couldn't see the ceiling when she was washing said hair.

Anyhow, the trade offer was very tempting -- although most people would dismiss it outright. However, a little birdie in the Saints organization says this Colston guy might be the real deal, so I'll pass.

You may, though, offer again. Said player you wanted isn't untouchable. No one is.

 

You get that pesky narrow urethra fixed?

 

Annual physical, which has actually been annual for the last 2 years now. And this time, he drops the bomb on me: "When, BigDog, would you like to start annual colon exams? Never too early, you know."

I've tentatively made a follow-up appointment for 2018.

 

ATTENTION, Demonic Furbys: A trade that may interest you has been sent your way by an interested party in the NIAFL.

 

You may need to sweeten that deal a little bit.

 

I think it's fair. May be willing to spend a little more, but the guys I offered are of high character and will make immediate impact in any NIA locker room. Got to take that into consideration too.

 

I would never have pegged BigDog as the type to have a stylist.

 

It ain't easy looking this mediocre.

 

For the cheapos without stattracker (it's $9.95, what is the problem??) here's the baseball playoff picture, minus tonite's yankees/sox game:

Hots-7
Horwitz-7 (in case of tie, best ERA wins, i believe, which would be a Hots victory)

Symphony-12
Springfield-2 (a heartbreaking tragedy of untold magnitude)

Whammy-9
Paradigms-5

Gas masks-5
Red Sox-8

Piper City-9
WKBT-3

gannett-3
Flowers-9

 

Hot dang. I think the Tubers are once again going to pull out a low-scoring win. Thanks, Buck.

 

Yes, a heartbreaking tragedy. My team couldn't find its offense this week (hey in that case, I got my name for next year all wrapped up, just call me the Tigers).

 

Picked a damn good week for the offense to go into the tank. And if a team with Juan Pierre, Jimmy Rollins and Alfonso Soriano can't win the stolen-base category, it just is not meant to be.