No Idiots Allowed Fantasy League

No - Coyboy started it. What's he being so coy about, anyway?

 

He's clearly not heeding the Smiths' advice:

Coyness is nice, but
Coyness can stop you
From doing all the things in
Life you'd like to

So, if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try
Ask me. I won't say 'No.' How could I?

 

Buck, I need to ask you this, about coyness, as you are the poet laureate of the NIAFL.

To His Coy Mistress is one of my favorite poems (or rather, one of the few i actually remember). I would like your interpretation. To me, it says 'hey, are we gonna bang like bunnies or not, I don't got forever....' Thoughts?

Code:

HAD we but world enough, and time,   
This coyness, Lady, were no crime   
We would sit down and think which way   
To walk and pass our long love's day.   
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side          5 
Shouldst rubies find: I by the tide   
Of Humber would complain. I would   
Love you ten years before the Flood,   
And you should, if you please, refuse   
Till the conversion of the Jews.   10 
My vegetable love should grow   
Vaster than empires, and more slow;   
An hundred years should go to praise   
Thine eyes and on thy forehead gaze;   
Two hundred to adore each breast,   15 
But thirty thousand to the rest;   
An age at least to every part,   
And the last age should show your heart.   
For, Lady, you deserve this state,   
Nor would I love at lower rate.   20 
  But at my back I always hear   
Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near;   
And yonder all before us lie   
Deserts of vast eternity.   
Thy beauty shall no more be found,   25 
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound   
My echoing song: then worms shall try   
That long preserved virginity,   
And your quaint honour turn to dust,   
And into ashes all my lust:   30 
The grave 's a fine and private place,   
But none, I think, do there embrace.   
  Now therefore, while the youthful hue   
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,   
And while thy willing soul transpires   35 
At every pore with instant fires,   
Now let us sport us while we may,   
And now, like amorous birds of prey,   
Rather at once our time devour   
Than languish in his slow-chapt power.   40 
Let us roll all our strength and all   
Our sweetness up into one ball,   
And tear our pleasures with rough strife   
Thorough the iron gates of life:   
Thus, though we cannot make our sun   45 
Stand still, yet we will make him run. 

 

That is an apt interpretation, 21.
Although, since the horndog's in such a hurry, you'd think Marvell could have made his point quicker.

 

That part about two hundred years at each breast, but thirty thousand at the rest...who wants a 200 year old breast?

Honestly, I don't think she's being coy, she probably just thinks he's insane.

Maybe this is a question for the Coyboy Gyno, he might know about those breasts (and I do not want to think about the 30,000 year old remainder, let's not ask him about that...)

 

Would a woman want her gyno acting coy?
I don't think I would want my doctor acting coy. That would be annoying.

 

More annoying than worms? She's going to need a doctor if he's serious about those worms.

I just love the guy...by the time she figures out what he's talking about, he's had three irish barmaids in the back room and is already napping.

 

If he's got worms, he probably needs a vet.
You can tell if he's been dragging his *sshole on the carpet.

 

Typo?

 

Dear Spuds,
Could you make a decision on the trade offer please soon, so I can pick up at least a warm body at running back if you decide against it.

Thanks a bunch,
Rusty

 

Dear Cosmo,

I'll give it a solid consideration and reply shortly. In the meantime, keep putting your manboobs in Falwell's meaty hands.

Sincerely,
The Tubers

 

Dearest Cosmo,

I regret to inform you I have chosen to decline your trade counter-offer. Methinks there were too many question marks in my head to click the accept button.

Yours in fantasyville,
Idaho