No Idiots Allowed Fantasy League

I picked up Petit for a spot start in a good situation last week, and now I'm torn whether to start him in Colorado.
Could make up for a terrible pitching day yesterday or could sink me.

I'm on the horns of an enema.

 

I'm hoping a member of the Chicago Cubs comes through for me.

How terrifying is that?

 

And the Cubbie does what Cubbies do.

Musical interlude:

 

I'm hanging on a heartbeat. I'm down two to the Machine but still leading Headbutt, who is up by three on Charley Varrick.

After Kluber sh#t on himself, I made a poor decision by starting Petit yesterday. I might not get a shot at five of the six pitching categories unless one of the Machine's pitchers really turds.

Sh$t is getting real.

 

Seem to me the real idiocy is the use of the "word" "Sh$t" by a white man of your advanced age.

Buck delenda est

 

The 'Is' line is from Robert Anton Wilson, a great thinker whom I greatly admire.
The 'Sh$t' line is from me, a stupid fool whom I completely loathe.

 

You wouldn't loathe yourself so much if you had a bigger penis.

 

Fucking Packers.

 

My small Irish penis is a source for self-loathing and general public contempt.
However, it is not the only factor. I believe there are enough contributing factors that I would be despised by myself and others even if I had a penis of average size or better.

 

Buck, I don't agree. You've proved yourself to be a Most Excellent Commissioner. Herding this flock is no mean feat and you've done it with grace, ease and style.

Musical interlude:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XozHOwMx3eM

 

Of all the words of tongue and pen
The saddest are....
Buck has a well below average penis