Officer who shot crazed chimp gives first interview

Are we sure she didn't fuck it?

http://www.click2houston.com/news/18765631/detail.html

 

Oh yeah. She definitely fucked that chimp.

There's no way wine + baths + sleeping together didn't at least lead to some rudimentary chimpcuriousness.

The mind races. One Project X DVD + Jungle Fever by the Chakakas + plying your simien with copious amounts of Chardonay = mad chimp orgy session.

 

Just sayin', but a dead deer never mauls your best friend. [/IliveinWisconsin]

 

Maybe it was Barry White when she wanted to 'make love' and the hard rock when she wanted to get pounded.

 

I can't stop laughing — or vurping — at this post.

It's funny and sick all at once.

 

Seconded.

 

Shit. Talk to it? My ass. This is Exhibit A for why all wild animals not kept by a highly regulated, licensed, trained professional need to be confiscated and put down if they cannot be re-housed in a proper facility. Anyone owning a wild animal should be subject to hard prison time, just as if they had waived a loaded gun (and in this case fired it) in a crowded room. I hate this story. I hate this phenomenon.

 

Yep.

 

So you're saying this was not a wild animal attack, but a -- wait for it -- domestic(ated) dispute?

 

How long before some cop has to take down the 550-pound bear who lives with this Montana family?

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=16422

 

That's just a tragedy waiting to happen.

 

Think this through for a moment.

Didn't the owner claim that the woman who was mauled might have brought it on herself because of the perfume she was wearing? Maybe she knows something we don't.

If she was fucking the chimp, couldn't that mean that she was leading the chimp on during the fateful day? Or, that she wasn't putting out to the chimp's liking over a period of time? Maybe she was on her period and couldn't please her chimp in a way he sought fit? I'm no zoologist, but my guess is that it's not advisable to mess with a violently horny chimp.

So you've got wine-plying chimp-ho not giving it up, the chimp goes apeshit, catches a whiff of the first vaguely feminine scent he smells, goes nuts, and rips this innocent woman's face off in some misguided attempt to get pussy, or, a gesture about not getting any pussy from his woman.

Cock-blocking ... it's never a victimless crime.