Oh no, not another relationship thread

You'll have to excuse me for dropping in late with my $0.02.

But dude, there's no reason to hesitate. The biggest reason I've found a guy can't ask a girl out, or whatever you're going for, is because you're psyching yourself out. To be honest, reading everything you've written, if you ask her out, she's at least going to give you a chance.

Far too much in my life I've put girls on pedastals way above me. Problem has always been that they were never better than me. I've always been one to say a certain someone is out of my league. Trust me, I'm pushing 3-bills here and I wouldn't exactly consider myself attractive in the Matthew McConaghy (sp?) sense, but I'm no where near Sloth from the Goonies, either.

What I have found is that no matter how "out of my league" a girl was, it always counts for something to work up the balls to ask her in person. I've had two girlfriends in my life, both of which I've considered way out of my league and if I showed you pics of me and the girls, you'd agree. But because of who I am, a good person, lives a good life, works a good job (that just doesn't pay me much) and has some direction in my life, taking the time and the balls to ask for one date led me to two significant relationships, one of which just ended. But even knowing the heartache I'm going through right now for this relationship having ended, there's no fucking way, if I could do it all over again, that I would pass up the rush I felt after asking said girl for a date and hearing her say yes.

I don't think there's a better feeling I've ever had — sex, the game-winning hit in a JV baseball game, throwing a no-hitter — that compared to knowing I went out on the limb, raising myself up for a letdown, and getting what I wanted.

Because although you might think she's out of your league, she's not, dude. I remember a line from 10 Things I hate about you — go ahead and call me gay, but I love that movie — that says don't ever let anyone tell you that you don't deserve what you want.

That all being said, just go for it dude. The pros far outweigh the cons.

 

Thanks, RHCP. That of all 130 posts, that was the one that convinced me I would call her.

Then — and I wish I was lying here — I finish my feature, routinely check my Facebook and she's got the top of the News Feed.

Status Update...

"Christine xxxxx is sad her phone isn't working!! "

You gotta be kidding me. I'm gonna call anyway.

 

You know, I've wimped out a time or two with women in my life. At one point, I was champion at it....but never with one I had ALREADY FUCKED! And she woke up and smiled at you!?

CALL THE GIRL, DAMMIT! Or I will. And if she fucks me, not only will you feel like a doofus, you will have allowed her to ruin my marriage. Do you really want that responsibilty?

;D

 

Voice mail, darling, voice mail.

 

Jeebus, CR... reading all this makes me worry about the male species...

I've been in both situations before. Hooked up with a girl from a party or whatever, got her number when she left the next morning. I always called her. Sometimes, she said, "Um, yo, my bad, I was drunk and whatever;" sometimes she said, "Yes, I would love to meet you for dinner after work tonight."

The point is, yes, you run the chance of being shot down. But you stand a chance of meeting a really cool chick. Plus, you know that she'll give it up, so you don't have to deal with that awkwardness.

But, as said, quit mulling over it. It's a quick thing. Just call. Or text. Shit use facebook if you're more comfortable with that. But while you have your thumb up your ass, the chances of it working positively are fading.

Just make sure you don't do this:

He dials.

It rings twice, then...

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
Hi, Nikki. This is Mike. I met you
tonight at the Dresden. I, uh, just
called to say I, uh, I'm really glad we
met and you should give me a call. So
call me tomorrow, or , like, in two days,
whatever. My number is 213-555-4679...
(beep)

Mike hangs up.

Beat.

He dials again.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
Hi, Nikki. This is Mike, again. I just
called because it sounded like your
machine might've cut me off before I gave
you my number, and also to say sorry for
calling so late, but you were still there
when I left the Dresden, so I knew I'd
get your machine. Anyway, my number
is...
(beep)

Mike calls back right away.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
213-555-4679. That's all. I just wanted
to leave my number. I don't want you to
think I'm weird, or desperate or
something...
(he regrets saying it
immediately)
... I mean, you know, we should just
hang out. That's it. No expectations.
Just, you know, hang out. Bye.
(beep)

He hangs up.

Beat.

He dials.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leaves a message.
(beep)

MIKE
I just got out of a six-year
relationship. Okay? That should help to
explain why I'm acting so weird. It's
not you. It's me. I just wanted to say
that. Sorry.
(pause)
This is Mike.
(beep)

He dials again. There's no turning back.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
Hi, Nikki. This is Mike again. Could you
just call me when you get in? I'll be up
for awhile, and I'd just rather talk to
you in person instead of trying to
squeeze it all...
(beep)

He dials yet again.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
Hi, Nikki. Mike. I don't think this is
working out. I think you're great, but
maybe we should just take some time off
from each other. It's not you, really.
It's me. It's only been six months...

NIKKI
(Live, in person. she picks
up the line)
Mike?

MIKE
Nikki! Great! Did you just walk in, or
were you listening all along?

NIKKI
(calmly)
Don't call me ever again.

MIKE
Wow, I guess you were home...
(click)

 

The thing is, she'll probably feel so awkward that she'll let voice mail pick up.

ODDS ARE, YOU PROBABLY WON'T EVEN TALK TO HER.

 

Damn. That was even painful in print. I HATE that scene.

 

Makes me cringe every, time, i, see, it.

Funny thing is, my wife doesn't seem to get the movie at all.

 

I know how it should go. Here's how it probably will go:

"Hey Christine, uhhhhhhhhh, it's Cradle, yeah, just wondering if you want to get a group together to go see a movie again this week, so uh yeah, give me a call back if you want."

Then I'll hand over my man card.

 

Don't bring up the group. Just ask her if she wants to go see a movie.

Boys!

 

I believe proceedings toward its confiscation were already begun on page four or so.

 

And don't say "call me back if you want." Trust me, I usually do. But don't leave her a subconscious out. Presume she's gonna call you back. If you don't, she might get it in her mind that it's not worth it to call you back.