Orange slices for everyone, or the I Hate Soccer thread

The world would be a better place if every sport changed its rules to accommodate my wishes.

 

Actually, I prefer them to shootouts, which always leave me feeling hollow and should NEVER count the same as a regular win.

 

North Korea!

 

PYONGYANG, June 11, 2014 — Thanks to the lowly capitalists changing the rules, your Dear Leader scored 13 goals in half a match to bring the Glorious Republic the 2014 World Cup.

 

Much agreed.

I've seen quite a few overmatched teams pack the box and either play for a draw (in the regular season) or a shootout (in the postseason). Usually doesn't work at the HS/college level that I'm usually watching, but it does at the professional level.

Make a team realize that it's going to have to play until a goal is scored, and the idea of milking the clock for a 0-0 draw and/or PKs goes out the door.

Over a long season, there is not really a reward for a draw in a 3-1-0 points system. However, in a 4-team, 3-game round-robin pool, you just want to avoid losing at all costs, which tends to favor conservative play and taking a draw.

 

Right. So, in the most important and prestigious tournament, you get the most conservative play.

It's really unfortunate.

 

So make wins worth 4 points.

Too fucking easy.

 

So, just to clarify, a 1-0 baseball game that features no hits for the first six-plus innings and only four hits total is really, really exciting. But a 1-0 soccer game is really, really boring. Is that about right?

 

Look, I love baseball, and I like soccer just fine.

But I understand the criticisms of baseball. One of them, especially from people who didn't grow up playing or watching it, is that it's boring.

And those people would hate a 1-0 game.

Now, part of the reason that I would normally like a 1-0 baseball game is because it would usually mean two pretty damn good pitching performances. Maybe a dominant pitching performance.

The 0-0 soccer ties are what people complian the most about.

And like the trap in hockey, people don't like soccer teams that play defense first; that play for ties; and/or that sit on a one goal lead for 45 minutes.

 

I accept this four weeks of World Cup for what it is: the perfect setting for weekend naps.

 

In my opinion in a 1 - 0 baseball game both teams are going after it the whole time and change can come with 1 pitch. In soccer at 1-0 the game is over after about the 60th minute of play when leading team just sits on it . A 1-0 hockey game has more action as well. World Cup soccer is too predictable, part of which can be attributed to the high value placed on a tie.

 

You're unlucky. Four weeks? I get 17 Sundays, plus the playoffs, of free naptime.