Orange slices for everyone, or the I Hate Soccer thread

Kermit is here to promote the sport, Thats all.

And if you loved soccer as dearly as Kermit, you would join me, in vanquishing the hators. Theres been only one way to ever deal with the Print Dusts of the soccer universe.

 

Bring us your tired, your poor, your huddled hooligans ...

 

nice...

 

I laughed at that... is it time for a defense of figure skating yet?

 

I know soccer. I played soccer and was the fastest and most athletic person on my team. And we were good, too. Got recruited to play for a traveling team but declined because I wasn't interested in soccer. Was more of a track and basketball person.

Here's the brutal truth. Soccer players in America are only good at one sport: Soccer.

The thing is, for the past 10 years or so there have been concerted efforts by corporate America to import the game. Not only is it a sport that 99 percent of the population finds dull as dishwater, but the corporate fakeness of "soccer promoters and defenders" is obnoxious.

Another reason to distrust soccer is that American soccer evangelists are phonies themselves. They're the "craft beer crowd" who will latch on to anything anti-mainstream America they can. They don't actually love soccer, just the opportunity it gives them to look down their noses. So part of the resentment for them is transferred to the sport itself, which has enough problems as it is.

So when you see all this wrath for the sport seemingly out of nowhere, 11 pages' worth, what you're really seeing is our country collectively saying, "Dear corporate sponsors: Please stop trying to sell us soccer, for God's sake. We're not buying."

 

I wouldn't waste my time playing soccer with a European wannabe.

Seriously, you just made me hate the sport even more than I did. Nah, actually, like it was pointed out by someone else, it's the chip on the shoulder that soccer enthusiasts have with the haters....Long live NASCAR.

 

Your a coward and a scounderel. Im a busy man. I don't waist my time with cowards and scounderels.

I made challange, to settle the matter on field. You cowered in fear because you know you don't have Kermit's skills.

I know all I need to know about you.

You still have time, to be man and rise to challange.

If you have the guts.

 

And here's a story from a friend deep in the Lone Star:

One of the pro teams in Texas had a camp in the 70s that this friend of mine had to go cover for his paper. That was before the internet obviously; soccer wasn't in that state yet in his area (at the HS level) and so he wasn't real up on technical terms. This player, his name escapes me, talked about the camp with him and when it got to some technical aspects, the writer friend told him he wasn't "up to date" on this stuff and wanted to give the readers a clear understanding of what he was talking about, so he asked for clarification. The player, I know he said he was British, got indignant with him. Basically called him stupid and the reason soccer isn't making inroads in America. What a way to be an ambassador, jackass.

I worked at a nearby paper at the time back when I did this stuff, and when he called in advance about the camp, I said, send me a flyer and I'll announce the camps. When he demanded an onsite story, I said I wasn't real sharp on soccer and since he tends to be the way he is with news/sports reporters at biweeklies who aren't soccer experts, I didn't believe I'd be interested. Click.

 

Yes, because if we know nothing else (and you certainly know nothing else), we know that SJ speaks for the collective country.

 

This. I have no problem with soccer. I don't think it's boring. But the best part about soccer is watching those idiots take every critique of soccer as a personal assault.