Orange slices for everyone, or the I Hate Soccer thread

Why aren't you playing in the MLS All-Star Game?

 

Why have you turned to threatened violence? Are you that insecure?

Nobody needs to meet you on any damn field, sockpuppet. You're not worth the effort.

 

Are you lunatics still arguing with this sock puppet?

 

I'll defend to my death the right to argue with a sockpuppet if I want to.

 

Kermit appeards to have blown off the WNBA all-star game. Does he not understand the nuances of women's basketball? I guess that makes him an uncultured ignoramus. Maybe he'll nut up and take the court against a WNBA fan.

 

Oh, now you've done it. He will meet you on the court. You will need Emergency Assistance.

 

Kermit says he's going to the MLS All-Star game. How would I know it was him? Will he be the guy with the sock puppet at the Harrison PATH station?

 

Kermit is not amused.

Do not look directly at Kermit.

 

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball Kermit.

 

MLS has an All-Star Game?

 

Happy Fun Ball NEVER threatened to meet you on The Field, buddy.

It just brained you when you weren't looking.

 

I know I'm taking this whole thing way too seriously (which is to say, at all), but this is another thing that cracks me up about the militant pro-soccer crowd. They always say, "You wouldn't last 10 minutes on the pitch!"
Yeah, probably not. Seeing as how I don't understand the rules of the game, never played it and never developed the proper skills, yes, I'd look like a fool trying to play soccer. Of course I'd get destroyed in a game against someone with any kind of ability.
But you know what else? I'm guessing the jackasses who break out that nugget of wisdom wouldn't fare very well going over the middle against James Harrison, either. Or any moderately talented high school linebacker, for that matter. Nor would most of them do very well in a competitive pickup basketball game down at the local Y. Trips to the emergency room could very well ensue.