Orange slices for everyone, or the I Hate Soccer thread

It's cute how the detractors bring in the "orange slices" stuff to the argument. Chuck Klosterman did the same thing in one of his books, which struck me as extremely lame from a guy who should know better. Basing one's opinion of a sport on the version played by 6-year-olds is intellectually indefensible. By that standard, baseball's a game where scrawny little kids can't throw strikes and are only there because either a) Dad made them sign up or b) they're biding their time for the postgame trip to Dairy Queen.

If the World Cup bores the shit out of you, fine. If the diving is insufferable, fine. But don't act like the youth game -- especially in this country -- has anything at all to do with the sport as its highest level.

 

Saw another "Will World Cup fuel soccer interest in US?" story today.
Soccer is what it is. It is no more or less ridiculous than any other sport. Heard a Fox Sports Radio guy clowning the World Cup today, in between obsessively discusssing the Lakers bench, where LeBron will end up, and how Strasburg will do in his second start.
Don't act like one thing "matters" because you're familar with it and something else "sucks" because you're not.
Do a little research, learn something new instead of recycling the same tired (Tiger, Favre, LeBron) stories over and over. I'm not a big soccer fan, but I've gone to a sports bar at 9 a.m. and had a few pints while watching the US beat Mexico. It was fun.
Think of the World Cup as an SEC football game, where instead of schools hating one school for not seceding during the Civil War or being the first to surrender, or stealing a coach, the countries fans hate other countries because they went to war against them, lost to them or the country flaked out on a military alliance.
Forget about the soccer. Focus on the hate. It makes sports more fun.

 

180 minutes

2 goals

0 winners

 

I love the spectacle of the big event, like the World Cup.

The games themselves could certainly use a few more goals. Kaka? Messi? Rooney? Donovan? C'mon, mates.

Oh, yeah, it beats the hell out of NASCAR any day.

 

This.

World Cup is like the Olympics. I'll watch luge, team handball, tag-team diving or whatever else they have to offer once every four years and move on. If there are luge evangelicals who can't accept the fact that I don't devote every waking moments to the Premier League or whatever, I've yet to meet them. And if the socceristas wish to spend their days pursuing their game like I do say, watching NFL or MLB, that's fine with me ... and it shouldn't be a problem for them.

Of course, my personal opinion isn't affecting how we're playing it. I know it's a big deal, and are treating it as such, just like we will the U.S. Open next week, even though I've never played a round of golf in my life.

 

I've tried to get into the Cup this year, mainly because I picked up a couple of freelance gigs on it. The coaches I talked to were very level headed, the players were nice guys and interesting and they are talented. I read all the SI previews in the past few months, and can appreciate why people love this sport. I even smiled when I saw a couple of kids (non-anglo) playing soccer with a makeshift goal ( it looked like a fish net strung between two trees) the other day.

However, I can't bring myself to watch the sport. The American fans are still insufferable in my opinion. Not as bad as they used to be. But the whole "you are an imbecile, dumbass, if you don't love this game with every thing in your soul" drive me up a wall.

 

I tried telling some soccer novices to watch only certain teams in the World Cup. I've told them to ignore the likes to Uruguay and Greece (rugged, dull) and Italy (divers, criers, injury fakers), but to embrace teams like South Korea, Argentina, Holland and many African nations.

Games like Uruguay-France are dreadful to watch. Heck, I even dozed off late in the first half. But I'm sure we'll see a 3-2 thriller soon, maybe today.

 

When the soccer crowd realizes that soccer is a niche sport, always has been, always will be, then they'll be pretty happy with its position in the U.S. sports landscape. The biggest problem has always been, soccer people always compare their sport with football, which is by far the biggest, most-followed sport in the U.S. (in part because the choice when kids are 6 years old is youth soccer or youth football, and the moms have to justify their decisions to put their kids in soccer, so football is necessarily evil). They want to be as popular as football, so football necessarily gets put down in the zeal to make soccer popular.

I'm a follower of a niche sport -- hockey. I'm comfortable with the fact that hockey is never going to have the large following of the NFL/MLB/NBA. But I'm never going to run around and call people who don't like hockey jingoistic xenophobes who aren't smart enough to appreciate the beautiful play of the game. I just enjoy it for what it is, and appreciate enjoying the game with others who also do.

We're not going to put away our Peyton Manning jerseys and start wearing Ronaldinho ones just to show how smart and cosmopolitan we are. Just enjoy that there are a few others who do enjoy the game.

 

Getting annoyed when France and Uruguay play out a dull draw is like getting annoyed when Kansas beats Cleveland State by 45 in the tournament. It's a 64-game tournament; not all of them are going to be good. And there might only have been two games and no winner (a draw?! Perish the thought!), but that first game was a thrill to watch, for reasons beyond the action on the field.

 

OK, on other running threads like -- ohhh, the running World Cup thread for example -- the mantra is "If you don't like the topic, don't post here."

So why are all the hug-a-tree, every-gets-a-trophy-because-we-aren't-keepin'-score, don't-forget-the snacks, where's-my-juice-box, kickball-lovin', umbro-wearin', foot fairies pissing all over this perfectly good thread by defending soccer?
Hey, if you like it, don't post here.

 

But that is part of the problem, at least for me. There is no one out there claiming Kansas v. Cleveland State was a great game. Aside from Kansas fans, no one is getting upset if people shrug it off. Soccer fans seem to get obsessed when people shrug off the boring games. It's the how dare you attitude.

 

I know I'm biased, but I just don't see it that way. All we ask is that you not extrapolate one 0-0 draw to suggest that every soccer game is like that. We'd love if we could get you to see that a 0-0 game isn't necessarily dull, but I get that that's a big ask.

But the attitude that seems to sneak through of, well, there was a 0-0 draw, why does anyone waste their time with this tournament -- that's what's frustrating. Because no one writes off the NCAA tournament when there's a blowout or two. (Or 25 -- how easily we forget that most of the first-round games AREN'T classics, but I digress.)