Our soft porn ... I mean ... outdoors columnist

Headline a few years ago on combined HS basketball roundup...

"Palmyra girls roll; Hershey boys on top"

 

But only half the Hershey boys would be on top at one time.

 

Hopefully, we can see a South Carolina Gamecocks vs Southern Cal Trojans championship in some sport, then if the Trojans win, it would be Trojans over Cocks.

 

Well, if Carl Pavano comes back and goes on a hot streak, you could use "Hot Carl."

 

Last year, our outdoors writer mentioned a 10-year-old girl who had killed a deer and "Filled her meat pole."
Wasn't the first -- or last -- time he's mentioned the old meat pole in a column, either.

 

Every once in a while we see the good ol’ rodeo event of Western Pleasure. Not a clue what it is, but God help me I can’t help but crack a grin when reading the copy.

 

A kid with the surname Penix scored three touchdowns in one game.

Headline: School's Penix stands tall

 

I'm told by a staff veteran that one of the Chicago papers once had this headline when pale hoser Tommy John beat ex-pale hoser Gary Peters:

Sox beat Peters behind John

 

My former paper once had a classic four-deck, one-column headline:
City Tech
employing
tight
ends

Think about that one for a minute..... it was posted on our bulletin board forever.

 

A couple of the Texas golf writers told me this classic one yesterday involving a basketball game between A&M and Baylor...

"Aggies Beat Bears Off"

Originally, it was "Aggies Beat Off Bears", but someone told the old-school editor that he couldn't do that.

So he changed the third and fourth words and went with that.

 

11/16/06

south carolina men's basketball at USC to open the new Galen Center. Can you imagine if South Carolina wins?

``Cocks Burst Trojans Opener''

``Cocks Spoil Trojans Party''

this is just too easy...

 

No, you want South Carolina to win convincingly so the headline can be:

Cocks rip Trojans