Pet Peeves

Got one to top that. A car without a clock. What's up with that? My sis just purchased a new van and it doesn't have a clock.

 

I agree with this, but the drivers I really hate are the ones who go the same speed as me. What's up with that? Pick your own speed. This is mine.

 

Even worse, fuckers who you pass, then they want to pass you, then you have to pass them, then they want to pass you. What's up with that?

 

When people - particularly strangers - feel compelled to comment on your food selection.

Yesterday, for example, I bought two hotdogs from Speedway. I got them plain, because I'm weird like that.

According to the script I've gotten used to by now, the gas station cashier says:

"Plain hot dogs with nothing on them???" and gives me a, "You're one weird fuck" look.

So I spent the next 10 minutes fuming, which is idiotic, I know.

 

Fat people ordering a lot of food. Then asking for a diet drink. What's up with that?

 

Grab some mustard and ketchup packets next time they do that and "accidentally" drop them and step on them.

 

Diabetes, dude.

 

Because it's still a way to save a few hundred calories - and a lot of people like to avoid sugar. Never had a problem with this one.

And some of us just like the taste of Diet Coke better than regular.

 

Blame my four-year-old son for that one. When we're driving, if a car passes me he yells, "We have to win! You're not the line leader?"

 

So...if you smoke...get a car with a fucking ashtray, you cheap bastard!
Hell, you're going to pour all that money down the drain for the right to slowly poison yourself and feed your addiction, at least spring for a place to put the damn things out.

 

Large SUVs in parking garages that take up more than one space.

Baby strollers that are the size of SUVs.

 

That first one is the one that kills me. Customer service reps who are assholes.

Actually, it's two things. Bad customer service bugs me, and it makes me insane when they follow that up by arguing or hanging up on you.

One time after my wife had back surgery, she was home alone when a guy delivering flowers called. He said he was downstairs, but nobody was answering and he was rude about it. She goes downstairs and nobody was there. This same idiot does the same thing to her twice that day, never realizing until much later that he was going to the WRONG DAMN HOUSE!

My wife calls his boss to complain and he proceeds to hang up on her. I'm at work, so I don't here any of this until later. She ends up talking to the person who sent the flowers and finds out they used a national service and the florist was one of their locals. She called the national people, got free flowers and the locals lost their service contract.

I waited until she got the new flowers, then called the jackass who hung up on my wife and lit into him. No threats or anything (hey, he knows where I live), but a very strong reminder about his complete lack of manners.