Petrino - not riding solo (and fired at Louisville)

Geez, pay in cash and toss the receipts. Duh.

 

It's not that simple. You may only buy condoms in specified locations at specified times so as not to encounter any relatives or acquaintances who might ask questions. I like to wear bahama shorts and loud shoes to draw the attention away from my face. I also keep a fake mustache under the tire well and wear my darkest pair of sunglasses. I will not buy condoms unless the cashier is a male over the age of 35, which obviously provides an additional layer of security. Also, before I go in to purchase I record all of the license plate numbers for every car in the gas station parking lot and run a background check on each car to ensure than none of my wife's co-workers are in the store. The receipt? You cannot let the cashier hand it to you because you cannot have your fingerprints anywhere on it. Speaking of fingerprints, I like to open the door of the gas station with a handkerchief and not touch anything with my hands while I'm in the story -- safer that way. If Chad had followed these simple rules he probably could have gone on cheating on his missus for years, as I have. Sorry for the post length, but I thought I could provide some unique insight into this situation due to my very interesting secret double life.

Yours truly,

freqposter

 

True love conquers all, I guess.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1305802-bobby-petrino-mistress-reportedly-still-engaged-heading-to-south-carolina

 

The Ol Ball Coach is happier today for some reason.

 

THAT WHORE!

 

With a haircut like that, the guy is never going to get better than the 6 he's pulling here.

 

You tell 'em IJAG!

 

You can't say that about Steve Spurrier!

 

South Carolina's "fetting" her? Could they be any more obvious?

Job well done, miss. Welcome here, and let's throw you a party.

College sports aren't even trying to pretend anymore that they are not a syphilis infested brothel.

 

God, I can only wish.

 

Luring a prime prospect from another SEC school? Why not have a fete.