Petrino - not riding solo (and fired at Louisville)

jr/shotglass · Apr 7, 2012

Just in general, this guy had better be a fucking football Einstein, because he's used 87/8 of his nine lives.

linotype · Apr 7, 2012

Armchair_QB said:

When you are an offensive genius, you get a job in the NFL. When you get a job in the NFL, you lose games. When you lose games, you take a job at Arkansas. When you live in Arkansas, you get bored. When you get bored, you go looking for strange. When you go looking for strange, you find strange. When you find strange, you take it for a ride on your motorcycle. When you take strange for a ride on your motorcycle, she reaches around and grabs your junk. When she grabs your junk, you wreck your motorcycle. When you wreck your motorcycle, you end up at a press conference in a neck brace. Don't end up at a press conference in a neck brace...switch from cable and upgrade to DirecTV.
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I can't let this pass without an acknowledgement. Very well played.

Armchair_QB · Apr 7, 2012

linotype said:

Armchair_QB said:

When you are an offensive genius, you get a job in the NFL. When you get a job in the NFL, you lose games. When you lose games, you take a job at Arkansas. When you live in Arkansas, you get bored. When you get bored, you go looking for strange. When you go looking for strange, you find strange. When you find strange, you take it for a ride on your motorcycle. When you take strange for a ride on your motorcycle, she reaches around and grabs your junk. When she grabs your junk, you wreck your motorcycle. When you wreck your motorcycle, you end up at a press conference in a neck brace. Don't end up at a press conference in a neck brace...switch from cable and upgrade to DirecTV.
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I can't let this pass without an acknowledgement. Very well played.
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I didn't write it. Merely passing it along.

Bubbler · Apr 7, 2012

"I like to think that the last thing that went through Bobby Petrino's head, besides Arkansas pavement, was to wonder how the hell freqposter got away with it."

Freq, I don't know whether to slow-clap you, consider you one of the most calculating douchebags to walk the mortal coil, or congratulate you spinning a great yarn. Either way, its made for a fascinating read.

Oh, and put me down for fired. Replaced by Valentino Rossi.

Football_Bat · Apr 7, 2012

I'd go for Rossi Morreale.

Moderator1 · Apr 7, 2012

Boom_70 said:

Moderator1 said:

Or maybe all is well and he just wanted to drill a hottie?

Some guys have it all and want more or are just sleaze balls. Be careful overthinking it.
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Petrino should have just ordered FIOS
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Naw. He would have been in more trouble. His posts at www.imasleazeball.com would have loaded so much faster and he'd have had more time to hook up. A slow connection is what Bobby P. needs

Azrael · Apr 7, 2012

freqposter said:

Boom_70 said:

dooley_womack1 said:

If someone looks at who's online, I bet he'll find someone printing out the last couple pages of the thread.
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If we look on Google Earth we can probably find SJers all over the country hiding in fields and woods.

One think that baffles me with Freq and all his precautions. He does not seem to consider grass stains , mud or poison ivy.
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Perhaps it baffles but I never caught before I "retired" a few months ago.

For outdoors encounters, I would keep a brown fleece blanket in the trunk. I would wash it between meets. No socks -- always wear sandals so the socks don't get dirty.

It can become very easy to get yourself in the habit to "erase your steps". Some things become second nature -- clearing the browsing history on a phone or, better yet, deleting a web browser app every time you walk in the door, only to re-install it the next time you're alone.

As for precautions, I did keep some, such as:
- At least $500 in cash somewhere in my car. The few times my spouse would drive it, I would take the cash and put it in the garage, inside of a Rick Reilly book that has been collecting dust for a decade.
- A Prepaid VISA card, usually the $250 card, concealed somewhere in the car, in case of a jam. Specifically, I needed a place that didn't take cash but only a card.
- No more land-line at home. Harder to track me.

The most important part is to find someone with the same demographics as you. Kids the same age. No desire to split up their house. This is actually what confused me about the Petrino/Dorrell connection. If the woman was a 35-year-old with kids and a husband, I bet it never comes out. Why? Because, on that Sunday night, she would have been home with the kids making dinner instead of out on a motorcycle with Petrino.

Eventually, my guess is that Dorrell would have nagged and nagged him into spending more time with her. There is a certain level of "care and feeding of a mistress" that is required, especially one that is not married (yet) and doesn't have kids. A 40-year-old mom with three kids and a workaholic husband doesn't need as much pampering as a 25-year-old hottie without those major life obligations.

Shoot, the 40-year-old cougar will usually do anything with a decent-looking guy if the man just asks about her day and listens. Trust me.

One of the more unusual elements I kept was on Facebook. With a nod to Plimpton and the story about Sid Finch, a post might read:

"Do u forever fight your stress? All time, thus work out."

Take the first letter of each word.

DUFFYSATTWO

Duffy's At Two?

One former paramour would see the post and know I was asking to meet her at "Duffy's At Two". She would be in the parking lot of this Irish bar... at two.
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As interesting as this tactical stuff must seem to the youngsters, I'd ask you and Bobby Petrino the same question: why?

Drip · Dec 15, 2014

jr/shotglass said:

This one messed-up face.

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He's smiling though, which means something, I guess.

TigerVols · Apr 7, 2012

Football_Bat said:

I'd go for Rossi Morreale.
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Or Martini & Rossi. On the rocks (like Petrino's face).

Moderator1 · Apr 7, 2012

My ad stream on the bottom - scooters!

Steak Snabler · Apr 7, 2012

I'm getting Equifax: Now With Lost Wallet Assistance!

Boom_70 · Apr 7, 2012

freqposter said:

The only SMART move by me:

Never in the workplace. Never. Too risky.
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It just seems that with all of your work to set up, you deserved a bed and a post coital hot shower instead of a corn field and a few handi wipes.

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Petrino - not riding solo (and fired at Louisville)

jr/shotglass Well-Known Member

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Bubbler Well-Known Member

Football_Bat Well-Known Member

Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

Azrael Well-Known Member

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Petrino - not riding solo (and fired at Louisville)

jr/shotglass Well-Known Member

linotype Well-Known Member

Armchair_QB Well-Known Member

Bubbler Well-Known Member

Football_Bat Well-Known Member

Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

Azrael Well-Known Member

Drip Active Member

TigerVols Well-Known Member

Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

Steak Snabler Well-Known Member

Boom_70 Well-Known Member

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