Petrino - not riding solo (and fired at Louisville)

Hey, it’s freq’s wife here. I read all of his posts. Yeah, he was a jerk, but things are better now. A funny thing happened.

I was tired of him, we'd been together too long. It was like a song that you had listened to for way too long. So while he laid there sleeping, I surfed Ashley Madison in bed. And in my area, I found a profile that read....

“If you like Levitra
And getting caught in the rain
I think you’re beautiful and
you have a great brain
If you'd like making love at midnight
In cornfield by Moon Lake
Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape."

I didn't think about my man. I know that sounds kind of mean, but we were in the same dull routine. So I wrote a private message to him and though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half bad

"Yes I like Levitra
And getting caught in the rain
I'm not much into hotel rooms
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red-tape
At a bar called Duffy’s
Where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes, And he walked in the place. I knew that scumbag in an instant. I remembered the smirk on his face. It was my own cheating man and and he sputtered, "Oh it's you." Then I laughed for a moment and said, "I always knew."

That you like Levitra
Getting caught in the rain
And the feel of cheap skanks
And the taste of champagne
You always liked screwing at midnight
In the cornfield by Moon Lake
I’m getting a divorce
And taking the kids to escape

My divorce lawyer said I should expect about 3K a month in child support and ailmony. He also wrote me a great story about having a S&M dungeon in a cabin off the coast of Oahu.

 

Biff reached across the brown blanket, lovingly plucking the lanky spider off Marlene's left breast. It was chilly by the river that day, but the heat from the car exhaust kept them warm under the back fender of the Beemer.

"Your body is amazing," he whispered, gently nudging her chins out of his armpit. Her skin had the faint aroma of Cheez Puffs and Dior. His wife never bought Cheese Puffs any more. He hated her.

Marlene lovingly caressed his legs with her toes, accidentally drawing blood as her long toenails scratched his calf. Damn, he thought, how will I ever explain that. His mind raced with tales of being attacked by wild falcons on the golf course.

It was time to go. He ran his hand through her thinning hair; he had to bring this one to shady places so the sunlight wouldn't glint off her scalp, it was just weird. "I have all day tomorrow," he said, "and $40 for a really great motel where you can bring your own sheets so they can't trace the DNA."

 

Deleting posts back to 1. Junkie, is that you?

 

He wouldn't be Le Freq if he wasn't erasing his tracks, would he?

 

For the sake of us all, I hope Freq runs across Ashley Judd in the Lexington BN:

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-ashley-judd-body-image-20120410,0,756459.story

 

Bubbler, you and others were right. This guy is FOS. I like to pride myself on my bs detector, but I violated the poin Cardinal Rule: If ever in doubt, lean toward the person being FOS.

 

"Ashley, your face looks gaunt."

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S GOOOOONNE!!!!!!

Did anyone make printouts that we can staple together for a manual?

 

Between this and The Jones thread it has certainly been an education on how not to treat a women.

 

True to character until the very end. Natalie Portman's Black Swan pales by comparison.

 

Why bring Liza Minnelli into this?

 

And whoever created "freqswife": kudos big time.