Pickup lines that work most of the time

The minute she accepted that bet you were wasting your time playing beer pong.

 

"Can I cook you a tasty Portuguese breakfast?"

"If you don't mind my saying, I'd love to lick a rare vintage of port off your labes."

"Hey honey, I've got that Seu Jorge album where he sings all those old Bowie songs in Portuguese."

"You're the most beautiful woman this side of Portugal."

"Ever had anyone do you in Portuguese?"

 

In WHICH end?

 

Is that the same guy who was in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou?

 

I actually saw this in a rite-aid last year. This hot girl was walking down the aisle and walking down the aisle was your typical rich L.A sleazeball. He's yapping on his phone and looks up as the walks past her. He immediately turned around and started following her. She stopped to look at the rack of greeting cards, and he came up behind her, still talking on his phone. She turned around and he said to her "don't worry, I'm not following you...unless you like convertible porsches"

 

"She's ovulating. Right now."

 

Like I told yo mama, I'm boots. Bend over!

 

Are you kidding me? You had to call her on that