Please analyze

Mr It,

"Thing" in second graf ... just wrong.

So he has a rep as injury prone, a history of injuries, whatever ... I'd try to start with his confidence (or lack thereof) with prospect of a recurring problem. You try to establish that this is a tag he must overcome --- I think it would be a little more interesting if we start with the first person he has to convince ... himself.

And we don't hear from your subject for a hellishly long time.

You back into the story and bury the voice -- I'd want to hear from him in graf 4,

YHS, etc