(Potentially running) thread: Help! My daughter is a tween and the Mean Girls Era has begun!

Tangentially relevant, but - The most recent episode of Michael Lewis' podcast was about how girls typically "lose" their confidence most easily during the middle school ages, and it can persist through adulthood. Even as someone with no kids, it was an interesting listen, and I suspect it would have more relevance with someone that has kids in that age bracket.

 

I would agree with this. That middle school into college period is insane. It can affect boys, too. I'm glad we're through all that period not.

BYH 2, good luck with your daughter's situation.

 

Anybody here watch Turning Red on Disney Plus? My daughter and I enjoyed it, although it wasn’t quite the home run with her that Encanto was. My though was that it was a subtle way for Single Dad to broach the subject of puberty and her rapidly approaching first period, which she is mortified to discuss with anyone.

I’ve asked my ex a couple of times what feminine hygiene products I need to keep on hand here and all I’ve gotten in reply is “she’ll just wear period-proof panties.” That really doesn’t seem like an all-encompassing strategy to me. Any thoughts on the best way to broach this directly with my girl? I understand me being a guy complicates things even further. I’ve thought about turning her loose in Publix with some cash or a gift card and telling her to stock up on what she needs so she can check out without me “knowing.”

 

My daughter is going through this shit in 8th grade with her friend group -- it's even worse once social media, group texts and boys enters the picture. Brace yourself. I hope she finds a new friend group in HS next year. Life's too short to waste on people who make you feel like shit.

 

I wish I had some applicable experience here, but that is definitely my wife's territory with our daughter, who will not discuss anything like that with me.

Your plan sounds like a good one, though can you trust your daughter to spend the money on those things and not other stuff if you are promising not to look?

 

She’s not quite 11. I trust the cashier to bust her for booze or cigs and otherwise how much trouble can she get in with $20?

(Plus after the first time, I can just restock her brand on my own with no further discussion needed.)

 

I was thinking more that she might waste it on something else, which is probably what mine would have done.

 

We moved about 30 miles away about a month after school started when my (now 32-year-old) daughter was in sixth grade. We realized there might be a problem, but the move was definitely for the best. Not only did my daughter have to switch schools, but where she'd been in middle school at the old house, she was back in elementary school in the new district.
The only good thing, we thought, was that there was a girl in her class who'd gone to grade school with my daughter at some point. So Lil OTD started hanging around that girl a bit. Until that girl told her that no one in that friend group liked her. That year was kind of a shitshow for both our kids. (Despite that, moving was a good thing. The following year, both the kids were in new schools and adjusted well.)
All I can say is good luck to BGH.

 

Update: There was a function at school the other night attended by all the girls. Everything went fine. Yesterday, New Friend's Mom tells my wife that a mutual friend who is still friends on FB w/Old Friend's Mom sent her a pic of Old Friend from Friday night, yelling at and flipping off the camera with a caption from Mom reading something along the lines of everyone's against us but fuck the world. I feel for this kid. She's got no shot.

 

Dropped my son off at preschool the other day, twin girls get out of the car with matching shirts that said 'boys are ewww.' good for their dad