Professional wrestling thread

My vision of Wrestlemania:

WWE title, Fatal 4-Way, elimination style: Cena (c) vs. HBK vs. Edge vs. Orton. This gets set up when all three eliminate each other at the same time from the Rumble. Since they're the last finishers for Raw, they debate who gets the title shot until Coachman gives it to all three of them. Edge and Orton already are teasing breakup, and it wouldn't be that hard for HBK to "accidentally" hit Cena with a superkick and play tweener until the match. It's also the only way you can get Edge in the match without doing Edge-Cena for the 30th time in the last year. Call me an old sentamentalist, but I'd like to see them give HBK one more decent run with the belt, pinning Edge for the title and setting up a singles feud there. It also leads up to HHH's return and perhaps his heel turn in time for a SummerSlam or Survivor Series match (say what you will about HHGH, but he puts on his working boots when he's in there with a friend).

World title: Batista (c) vs. Undertaker. This one seems pretty much a slam dunk at this point, barring injury or drug suspension (I'm looking at YOU, Batista). Taker, as I pointed out, has never won a Rumble and he probably won't be in too many more, plus it sets up the match nice and easy. I don't know who wins -- the cheap way to pull it out is Taker by DQ, which preservers the winning streak and also sets the wheels in motion for a Batista heel turn because he either goes overboard or deliberately cheats to keep his belt (his momentum as a face has been crap since the injury, and really not that hot since they flipped him to Smackdown. he needs a good foil and hasn't really had one since HHH).

ECW title: Bobby Lashley (c) vs. CM Punk. It's becoming obvious that ECW blows ass, and I don't know how much longer it's going to be a distinct entity. If they're EVER going to pull the trigger on Punk as a star, they need him holding the ECW belt. He wins in eight minutes, goes on to a short feud with say Hardcore Holly or Kevin Thorn to get some wins, then a SummerSlam match with Marcus Cor Von.

Money in the Bank match: Mr. Kennedy vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Carlito vs. Johnny Nitro vs. Joey Mercury vs. Matt Hardy. MITB is one of the best things WWE has done in the last three years, fueled greatly not only by the match itself but by how they get their title shot, a detail everyone expected would get forgotten about. But Edge picking off a weakened Cena after an Elimination Chamber match and RVD making Cena defend in the Hammerstein, both brilliant. This would be a good spot for Nitro to win and challenge HBK, or perhaps Kennedy to win and either challenge Batista or jump to Raw to go after HBK. I'd go with Nitro.

Intercontinental title: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Kenny Dykstra. A possible show-stealer and the chance to give Kenny the rub and once and for all put the Spirit Squad behind him. Dykstra wins the title, Jeff flips to SD to team with Matt.

U.S. title (last man standing): Chris Benoit (c) vs. Finlay. Not a unique pairing, but let them stiff the fuck out of each other for 10-15 minutes and see if they can get the crowd into it. Benoit wins.

Hulk Hogan vs. Great Khali: Sure, Khali is a 7-2 version of the "I've fallen and I can't get up!" woman, but that's easily fixed. Short match where Hogan tries to get the giant off his feet, he can't do it, Khali dominates him with his shitty offense, Hogan Hulks Up, comeback, big boot finally takes him down, legdrop and that's that. Really it's no different from Andre and his horrible phyiscal status at WM III (legend has it his legs were numb the entire match).

Fatal 4-Way tag title match (pin someone from that brand, win said brand's title): Cryme Tyme (Raw c) vs. London/Kendrick (SD c) vs. World's Greatest Tag Team vs. The Untouchables. Dissention causes Edge or Orton to walk out on the other in a Raw match to let CT win and set up this throwaway match. Untouchables win the SD title when London and Kendrick split up over Ashley (which one wants to boink Ashley again?).

Cruiserweight title: Gregory Helms (c) vs. Jimmy Wang Yang. Would at least be an okay match. Yang wins to end Helms' 15-month reign. Yeah, it's been that long.

Umaga vs. Boogeyman. If you need a reason for a 400-pound Samoan asskicker to wrestle a worm-spewing freak show, you're not a wrestling fan. Umaga wins when Mark Henry returns, setting up a Henry-Boogeyman feud.

Women's title 3-way: Mickie James (c) vs. Melina vs. Victoria. Eh, you have to have this match somewhere. Give Melina the belt.

Monty Brown vs. RVD It's clear they're not going to run with RVD any time soon, if ever, so might as well have him put over Brown, the only heel in ECW worth the effort, cut him, then let him go to TNA to feud with Christian Cage in six months.

Rey Mysterio should be ready to go by then, but maybe hold off on him until April or May and let him be the big story when he returns. Seems like there should be a place for Kane, but damned if I can think of it.

 

That would set up as a possible SummerSlam card ...

SummerSlam card:

WWE title, Hell in a Cell: Shawn Michaels (c) vs. Edge
World title: Batista (c) vs. Benoit
ECW title: CM Punk (c) vs. Marcus Cor Von
World tag team: Cryme Tyme (c) vs. World's Greatest Tag Team
WWE tag team: Untouchables (c) vs. Hardys
U.S. title: Finlay (c) vs. Mysterio
Intercontinental title: Dykstra (c) vs. Carlito
WWE title No. 1 contender: Cena vs. HHH (HHH wins, turns on HBK on the next Raw)

 

Nice cards, MM ... Though I'm not a fan of Cena vs. Edge vs. Orton and Undertaker vs. Batista, they're solid matchups, I guess.
I like your undercard, better. Benoit vs. Finley is good. (I'd make it a 3-way and add William Regal ... wow). I like the MITB and Tag Team matches, too.

I'm sorry to report that Punk's push has flatlined. I just finished reading Meltzer's latest newsletter and he's reporting that they're through pushing Punk. Their reasoning is "Punk didn't deserve the cheers he was getting because Heyman pushed him to get them."
Really, does that make any sense at all? Aren't the bookers SUPPOSED to push wrestlers to get cheered/boo'ed?
Also, apparently Punk doesn't have a lot of fans backstage because he has a dry sense of humor. According to Meltzer, the stuff he says isn't bad (and Nash/HHH are seen has funny guys for having the exact same sense of humor) but guys are rubbed the wrong way when Punk jokes around, feeling he hasn't proven himself on the big stage yet to earn the right to joke around like that. Plus, his relationship with Maria is working against him (guys who date the hot divas are usually ostracized due to jealousy or whatever).
So, as much as you, I and a lot of other fans enjoy Punk's work, it sounds like it's not gonna happen.
And, according to Meltzer, the McMahon's won't release Punk because they're afraid he'll go to TNA and become a star, leaving egg on their face. I think that's hilarious, too. If you think the guy has the ability to be a star elsewhere, why don't you push him properly in your own stinkin organization? Dumb shit.

Meltzer's also reporting that RVD is acting like a kid who's enjoying his last day at a school before moving. He's talking back to Laurinaitis. WWE is apparently trying really hard to sign him to an extension because his contract is due soon and they don't want him moving to TNA. But RVD isn't budging.

 

That is the same story for every upcoming WWE talent over the last 10 years. Unless your buddies with the right people, anyone who is anything approaching 'over' as a newcomer suddenly develops a personality conflict with someone. Does it happen sometimes? Yes, but it's amazing how it always strikes those outside of the management clique or the handpick faves of the bookers.

And I hope to god RVD leaves. He'd be better off on the indy circuit.

 

Is RVD's comic book store even still open?

 

No, it's been closed since middle of last year, I think.

 

This is the first time since 2000 that I have not watched or purchased the Rumble. That's saying something. This was always the show I looked forward to most--moreso than Mania--but the product right now is so lacking, I don't feel the desire to shell out bucks.

 

Since you read Meltzer's stuff, Gimpy, any word on how many months guys like RVD, Heyman, Punk, etc. have left on their deals? Punk's still fairly new, but does he have some long-term deal that allows Vince to have Viscera perform his ugly finisher on Punk on Raw? Ugh.

 

They've never been a big fan of Punk, almost from the moment they signed him. The dating Maria thing was supposedly a break of backstage code (didn't seem to hurt Edge too much, eh?), and his backstage attitude was always a bone of contention in OVW. But even if he was the most well-mannered, perfect wrestler in the company, he'd still struggle to get a good push because he isn't their product. He got his bona fides working in ROH and to a lesser degree TNA, in the process getting off a series of matched with Samoa Joe that nobody in Titanland could dare dream to do, and WWE has never been big into pushing guys who they can't claim as their own. That's why he had to twiddle his thumbs in Louisville learning "WWE style" (read: crap) before he could be trusted on TV. And if it weren't for Heyman, he'd probably still be in OVW, fighting with Chet the Jet. I guess Punk thought he'd make money working WWE, even if it meant compromising his style, but now TNA is a more viable option.

Guys like Punk and RVD get over because they're Punk and RVD, and Vince can't get over because of it. And what a surprise, they're afterthoughts now.

 

Meltzer wasn't specific on when RVD's deal is up, but he said WWE expects him to sign with TNA "shortly" if they can't ink him to a deal. Meltzer described their efforts as a "full-court press" but so far, RVD hasn't shown any inclination to sign.

As for Punk, I have no clue how many years he has. I know he signed in the fall of 2004. I'm guessing they probably signed him for 2 or 3 years max. So, maybe this fall. I can only hope it's soon. I'd love to see Punk in TNA, reunited with Joe, Homicide, Styles, Daniels and Low-Ki (Sen-Shi). Russo is a horrible booker, though. If they can get rid of him, they might have something.

Omar, I didn't order the Rumble either. I can't remember the last time I didn't. I had the remote in my hand, debating all the way up to 4:59 p.m. But I finally witheld. I'm a member of a web site where I can download it for free a couple of hours after its over. So, I figure if it sucks, I won't be out any money.

 

Yeah, I usually order the big PPVs and I did so again with the Rumble because i've always liked the concept of the Rumble match. But two matches in, we've had one solid match and one crappy one.

 

Here’s what I think Wrestlemania 23 should offer (and there's even stuff I know Vince would at least be in favor of):

On DVD only: Battle Royal with the jobbers from all three brands.

Open with a cruiserweight title match: Helms vs. Jamie Noble vs. London vs. Kendrick. Let Kendrick have the belt.

Tag team titles vs. Tag team titles: Haas/Benjamin (new champs after Edge/Orton break up) vs. Regal/Taylor (after beating London/Kendrick at No Way Out next month). I give the nod to Haas/Benjamin and then Regal moves to singles and Taylor is released completely. Also, Smackdown’s tag titles vanish.

Money in the Bank match: Test, Holly (ECW); Booker T, Kennedy (Smackdown); Dykstra, Carlito (Raw). I give the win to Carlito and he goes to Smackdown.

U.S. Title: Benoit vs. Finlay. Finlay wins the title.

Chris Masters, once and for all, does the Masterlock challenge and a returning Mark Henry busts it.

Intercontinental title: Jeff Hardy (w/Matt Hardy in his corner) vs. Nitro (w/Mercury and Melina in his corner). Nitro wins title, turns on Mercury for good.

Women’s title: Mickie James vs. Victoria. Victoria wins title.

Hulk Hogan vs. Umaga: I agree with you all, have this match. Hogan wins with manager interference backfiring on Umaga. Khali comes down and he and Umaga beat down on Hogan, setting up a match at the next RAW PPV (since HHH is out, they'd have to milk one with Hogan as an attraction).

ECW title: Lashley vs. RVD vs. Punk. Lashley wins to further bury RVD and Punk.

Undertaker vs. Batista, Smackdown title on the line after Taker wins the Rumble. Taker wins the title as Kane helps his brother out. Batista then feuds with both Taker and Kane.

Cena vs. Orton vs. HBK vs. Edge for the title. Orton wins when Edge helps him, but Orton and HBK turn heel and lay out Edge and Cena. This ends the show and Raw the next night has some form of these guys in a match.

One other note: I wondered if there'll be some kind of legends' match like Flair vs. Rhodes, but if Hogan's already on this show, Hogan probably doesn't want something like that to happen.