Question: Is Fergie's "London Bridge" the worst popular song ever?

That homeless man also apparently has a thing for Jack Klugman in drag.

 

I will not stand for this.

That Paris Hilton song does not suck. It's like Gwen Stefani lite. Sure, it's overprocessed and overproduced and her voice is thinner than Nicole Richie. But it does. Not. Suck.

 

I won't ever listen to that Paris Hilton song to ever find out. I refuse to listen to anything that slut says.

 

Re: The Paris Hilton song. There was a story posted on Slate.com recently about it, the headline reading (and I'm closely paraphrasing): "I hate myself for liking Paris Hilton's new song." I don't mind it either, and only wish that someone else was singing it so every time I did listen to it I didn't have to immediately pop in my Killers CD so I felt better about myself.

 

Exactly. It's pointless pop. I was on an AirTran flight when I heard it on the XM. Had my headphones on, eyes closed. Listened to half, figured it was Gwen Stefani, looked down, almost puked, went home and downloaded it.

It's not terrible. It's not good. But it's not terrible.

 

If Stars Are Blind was the newest Brittney single, people would be trumpeting it as her big comeback. It's the musical equivalent of diabetic food. It's bland, boring, non-threatening, and music you can ignore, or apparently in IJAG's case, enjoy in the privacy of your home, with the lights off, and pictures of Kaysar glowing softly as your screensaver.

London Bridge, however, could not be worse if it tried. Seriously. This is not hockeybeat ranting about how much Coldplay sucks, or Hoops or Jones patiently trying to explain how much Rush sucks. (Which, of course, they do.) It's not a matter of taste. London Bridge goes beyond that. It sets new standards for bad.

Let me put it this way: If someone called London Bridge the George W. Bush of crappy pop singles, I would outraged. Bush, improbably, deserves far, far better.

 

On a side note, I agree completely. I've tried listening to it, to try to get exactly what kind of imagery she's trying to set by talking about a really old bridge...but I just can't get through it.

 

I caught a lot of snarky comments when I defended J-Timberlake/dissed Journey. Now I don't feel so bad about that. [/I'm bringin' Sexy Back/Them other f*&(ers don't know how to act]

 

You know what's even more embarassing? (Sorry to keep going on like this, but....)

This is the cover of Fergie's Album. She's posing in front of a bridge. One would assume it was London Bridge, correct?

Nope. That's Tower Bridge. The bimbo's record company couldn't even get the bloody bridge right.

 

DAmmit, Oz, I keep trying to like the JT song. But it's just too techno, all computerized voices and shit. Too weird for me.

 

One of the nice things about XM is that I can avoid trash like this at all costs. I can't imagine a scenario in which I'd be on a station that would play this song.

That said, I was intrigued enough to seek out the full video on google, and I must say, this is as fabulous of a train wreck of a song that I've ever heard. Really, really bad. This song makes "We Built This City On Rock And Roll" sound like a fine opera. This song makes a Grammy winner out of Vanilla Ice's lesser known ballad. This song makes *gulp* "Save a Horse, Ride A Cowboy" palatable.

http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/videos/id.35

 

You're looking at the bridge?

On a related note...

The Grey Goose got the girl Maurice Clarett feeling loose.