Quick parent rant

Good post. Even worked my screen name into it.
I've also heard the "If you had kids, you'd understand" line. Maybe this would change if I ever have them and if they have any sort of athletic ability (unless I marry Marion Jones or somebody like that, they'll probably suck just as much as I did), but I hope I would have a more rational outlook. I hope I would think that as long as the kid loves the game and enjoys being a part of a team and works as hard as he or she can, I wouldn't care about anything else.
When I was a kid, I don't remember my parents or my teammates' parents lobbying the paper for coverage. I'm not sure when this entitlement attitude started to become more common or if it's always been there and we never noticed it until we started to work in this business.

 

Once upon a time I was working as a tournament director for kiddie soccer and an upset parent gave me the "if you had kids, you'd understand" line. I shot back with "people like you make me not want to have kids". Unprofessional, yes. Hilarious just the same.

 

I haven't been around very long, SP -- in the biz or on this earth -- but I'm pretty sure this "put-my-kid-in-the-paper" entitlement is a recent development.

My parents would have laughed at me if I had ever suggested they call the paper to complain about my not being in there. I got told, "Do better. Then maybe the reporter will come talk to you."

And when I did, he did.

 

Outing alert: Tide is this man:

 

Smalltaters...I also don't remember my parents or coaches complaining about the lack of coverage in the local paper, and I never expected any coverage. I do remember how great it would be to read about our team, and see your name in print.....it was cool but I never expected to be written about.

I can't say if this is a recent phenomenom or not, but this is the "everyone gets a trophy" generation, and I bet that plays a big part into why so many parents now feel that everyone deserves to be in the paper too.

 

I played Mustang League (second-youngest division of Pony Baseball) for two years. I was butt-ass awful the first year, the worst player on the best team. I got maybe three base hits all year, and one was pure retard luck. We won the league title with an undefeated record, and nobody got within four runs of us.

My hometown paper has city-zoned inserts that run once or twice a week, depending on where you are. We got a story written about our performance, with some freelancer talking to the manager and one of the coaches. Most of the players got their stats and big plays and whatnot mention. I and a couple other benchwarmers were mentioned at the end, and only as "other team members include XXXX, XXXX and Mystery Meat."

I was upset, sure. Upset that I didn't do a better job and earn a better spot in the story. It didn't occur to anyone in the family that I deserved a fucking thing. I was the worst player on the team. I got more than I deserved, to be honest. But I would have been mortified, even at 9 years old, if my mom raised a big to-do with the paper about trying to give me more attention. Even then I knew I needed to earn it first.

Nowadays it's just what happens. You don't have to accomplish, merely to exist. Everybody hits, everybody runs, everybody scores and everybody gets fellated in the Weekly Freebie. Yee-ha. At times I think it'd make more people happy if I quit and sports became a product of nothing but submitted photos and stories. No editing, no news judgement, just pages upon pages of team pix and poorly-written paeans to somebody or some team. That's the only time I ever get complimented on anything where I am now.

So fuck it, they win. Let them beat their chests and proclaim Susie Soccer Star a beacon of hope in a gloom-darkened world. After all, it's for the parents who used a dollar store condom and couldn't find a reliable coat hanger, so now they're sucking off their kids success like famished leeches kids!!!!!!!!11

 

Genuinely hilarious, Pope. Glad somebody got the joke.

 

"The kids love to see their names in the paper, you know." Me, too, ma'am. That's why I became a sports writer. My name's in the paper every day.

 

Excellent

 

I'm moving out of sports soon and am so goddamn glad I won't have to deal with this issue anymore.

 

Last week, I covered a high school girls' soccer game. After the 100 minutes of scoreless soccer, I spoke with the "opposing" coach and two players -- the best offensive player and the keeper. After that, I spoke with three members of the "home" team -- two defenders and the keeper -- and the coach.

After I wrote a generous amount of words and the article went to press, my e-mail had an interesting, unedited letter:

"I was very disapppoionted in your recent article "Even at 0" for the game between XX and YY girls' soccer. Almost the entire article is about YY! We all can get the Pennsylvania Press to read about YY. We buy the Post to read about our local teams. ... I also do not care much what the other coach thinks or says. One quote maybe, but what Coach Christmas thinks is far more important to your readers. Pretty much all you mention in regards to XX is that they are lucky to eke out a tie. I know you talked to Lloyd for a while after the game. In fact they stayed late so he could talk to you, meaning the girls didn't return to the school until 11 PM. ..."

And it goes on, attached with suggested topics to include in my game stories, like "how they work really hard, fundraisers, community support." I write back, state my case, journalism ethics, style and whatnot in a very polite, diplomatic and fair manner. Well, she fires back about the sports section's gender bias -- we give "better coverage" to the boys' teams. And after I didn't cover XX's next game, I get another e-mail slamming me with this:

"I did see that the quotes from Coach Christmas on the Altoona game in yesterday's paper focused on team concepts and passing. I also noticed it was a female person doing the interviewing! Maybe you could send her more often."

I love soccer season.

 

Soccer is one thing I will not miss.

At least with football, basketball, baseball and even friggin softball, the players and fans have these cheers. The softball cheers are sing-songy, and give me a headache, but I wish at least the 18 dipshits watching soccer could do the olay, olay, olay thing. Instead you have 18 mothers over there screaming "kick it, kick it, c'mon girls (or boys), kick it...."

My metro non daily paper will end its sports section soon, like in the next month. In the next month, soccer begins. My ME is already dreading this, especially after fighting hard to save the sports section.