Quick parent rant

We've gotten the band-parent call ("But they play at the games! Why didn't you cover them at the state competition?"). We've gotten the why-do-you-run-this-girl's-picture-so-much call (which is why I purposely ran her photo on an inside page the other night). We've gotten the "anonymous" e-mail where the mother's name was on the signature.

One of the best calls, though, came to one of our part-timers who had covered a regional volleyball match. Area team loses, so grandmother calls our guy at home at 2 in the morning and leaves a message that included her yelling that in the dateline it should have been IL instead of Ill. (she doesn't know AP style) and she also complained because the opposing team brought in little bags of candy to throw to their fans when they were introduced at the start of the match ("YOU CAN'T BRING CANDY INTO THE GYM.") He's got the call on an audio file and plays it when we need a good laugh.

 

My favorite prep-parent fallacy is the argument that "I didn't see my son/daughter in your story! You leave out kids' names from the paper and you're costing them a chance at a scholarship. Do you know how many college coaches look at newspapers to find recruits???"

 

i am a college recruiter ... the rest of you don't receive a stipend from OSU?

 

"Sir, your neighbor also forwarded all sorts of disgusting kiddie porn from your e-mail address. Just thought you ought to know that, when the FBI arrives. I've read they like to come knocking in the middle of the night."

 

Some fucktwit had the nerve to e-mail me and tell me that his team had a 3-0 football start a mere two years ago, when our newspaper record had the team's last 3-0 mark in the 70s.

Since the last five years of results of statewide football games are on the net, I linked to that site. And the fucktwit wrote back saying he thought it was true because his brother played on that team. Didn't even apologize for telling me I was wrong.

The rise of AAU and various other athletic money schemes has also driven me mad. I have a fucktwit parent who started some youth sports franchise he's very proud of. Fucker saw me at a local high school practice one day and tried to give me a sales pitch on how great his organization is. He desperately wanted me to do a story. I took it all in and said I'll talk to my editor.

Secretly I wanted to go on an epic rant and tell him to fuck off, but I'm a pussy.

 

The swim parents have struck here. Came in today to an anonymous letter from a parent of a swimmer on the local high school's team saying that we need to cover the swim team more.

She said that because we cover every one of the football team's games, we should do the same for swimming. Oh, and it was our job to "promote the program."

Keep in mind that the girls swim team hasn't won a dual meet in almost three seasons, has maybe one event winner in every dual, and hasn't had a state qualifier in about five years.

On an unrelated note, there was a voicemail from some guy (didn't leave his name) complaining about a misspelling in a headline (it was corrected early in the press run, so he must have gotten one of the few copies that got out). "You guys are idiots," he said. So I hit *69, got his number, and called him back. When I told him who I was, he got all quiet and when I asked him about the call, denied he made it. Then he hung up on me.

What a way to start the day.

 

Haha...I got that last week from an AD at a D1 program. He's pissed because tennis or whatever doesn't sell enough tix.

 

Got this from a parent last week. My response was, "any recruiter that's looking at a newspaper for prospects, probably won't be a recruiter for long." We argued points for a few minutes, but I think the concept was totally lost on her.

 

Classic.

 

Just last summer a man stopped by our office to tell me about his granddaughter winning an equestrian event. I asked him for her phone number so I could contact her about it, and he gave me a Florida number, which isn't the state we are in. The girl has never lived in our state, and he is the only family she has here. I told him since she had no connection to our coverage area, the story probably wasn't going to make it into the paper. So the old man tells me he is cancelling his subscription and stomps out of the office.

 

A dad emailed me today with a pic of the girls U13 soccer team he coaches at a team camp. Two months ago.

Not only that, but this dad is currently running in a county election. How transparent.

 

Did our local soccer previews last week. Had six teams (three schools, boys and girls teams) for one paper, only enough room for four on the front. So I go with the team that went undefeated and won the D-III state title as the lead story, put the accompanying boys article above the fold with it. Big D-I boys and girls programs go below the fold. Had planned to run the girls bigger because they fared better last season than the boys, but they didn't show up for practice and we didn't have time to get to them later in the week for a photo. So boys are bigger, with a photo, no photo for the girls

Other two teams go inside.

I come in to a voice mail the following Monday: Yeah, I see you're giving Private School all these headlines even though they're Division III, I see you're giving D-I Boys a headline and they had a terrible record last year and I see you're giving Local Team 2 boys and girls teams all these headlines and they're division III, too. I just think you should give D-I Girls a headline -- they were 12-2 last year you know.

No name, no phone number. Now, the problem I have here is A) Private School team WAS D-III, moved up to D-II this year, only because they weren't allowed to go D-I (and probably would do quite well there) and is likely going to win the D-II title. B) The D-I boys got as far as the D-I girls in the playoffs (the girls were upset in the quarters, boys got knocked out by a superior team), C) the other two teams were INSIDE and he somehow thought they were getting bigger play than the D-I girls, and D) he apparently missed the headline to the story on B1 about D-I Girls. I don't run many stories without headlines.

Oh, how I wanted to call him back.