Quick parent rant

i hate those bitches who don't leave their number. I try to call almost everyone back that does, only because I love telling them they are wrong.

 

Or my other favorite way -- the voicemail stamp "A message from phone number,XXX-XXX-XXXX"
Call them back and explain who you are saying 'Someone called me from this number and didn't leave their name..."
They either get real apologetic or really panicked....
Makes you smile as you're calling back,...

 

A side note to the anonymous letter from the swim parent: She was mad because, she claimed, we shot a home volleyball match but not the home swim meet the same night at the pool next door. One problem _ the volleyball match we shot was on the road.

 

My first call this morning...

Female caller: Did you hear Bobby Long Legs ran in the (insert name here) race?

Me: No, I didn't. How'd he finish? Do you have any information on the race?

Female caller: No, I'm sorry (long pause follows). He's neighbor of mine. I just called to tell you he raced.

Me: Thanks for the tip. : Call or e-mail some information, and I'll gladly put something in the paper.

 

Anonymous emails are what the delete key is made for.
You don't sign it, I don't read it.
End of story.

 

I dealt with so many idiots during my prep days, it wasn't even funny. Let's see ...

* Mother keeps calling me, leaving me messages about wanting to know how I pick who I do stories on. When I finally talk to her, she said if I don't do a story on her son "the quarterback" he'll never get a scholarship to the school of his dreams. What school would that be? "Stanford." I told her, "Lady, if you think one story from me is going to get your son into Stanford ... you're dumber than I thought" and hung up.

* Mother complains that I didn't mention the score of the championship softball game until the fourth paragraph and that up until that point, the entire story was about the private school, that lost the game. I point out that the first paragraph talks about her pitcher and how she could barely walk (she'd taken a line drive off the leg in the previous playoff game). In fact, the second and third paragraphs were about that pitcher, too. So ... how could the first four paragraphs be about the other team.

"Well ... they just were." I told her we were just going to have to agree to disagree, because I didn't know what the hell she was talking about.

But the ultimate had to be this one ...

My Managing Editor tells my sports editor she wants us to do a story on a girls basketball team that is getting blown out by 30-40 points every game. Sure, they're losing ... but they're trying so hard. My editor and I ignore it. Next week, the ME wants to know where the story is. We blow her off again. Finally, a story appears in that town's local weekly where one of the girls complains that the players hate losing ... but they're trying so hard. The ME highlights the quote and slams it on my editor's desk and says she wants that story by the end of the week.

OK, OK, so I go down there. There's only like seven girls on the team, so I figure I'll talk to each one of them so the ME can't say I left anybody out. The coach of that team was horrible about calling in games and spelling names right, so when each player came over, I asked them to spell their name just to make sure I had it right.

Talked to six girls. The seventh one walks over and when she spells her name, I say, "Wow, I wonder how many times that one's been butchered."

She replies, "Do you know (My ME's name)? Well, she's my dad's girlfriend, and ..."

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! When I told my editor, he slammed the receiver on the desk so hard, he broke his phone.

 

And what's even better is a couple days after, when you get a call or email saying -- did you get my last note? WHy havent you done anything on this?
Had a cross country parent dive into me one season. Coach wouldnt call (or call back) and we wouldnt run the results. She wouldnt accept our explanation, nor would she tell me who she was. Third call, I told her if you wont tell me who I'm talking to, this conversation is over. Gave her a three-count, then hung up on her. My ME and I had a chat the next day, I told him the story, he was fine with it.
And, in my last column before I moved, I mentioned her in my column -- by email address, saying I'll miss this place -- even her..

 

Here's my rant, but first, love this site. Maybe I can now save on shrink bills (he wasn't helping, nor were the meds).

Private school moms, got to love them, but this one was decidedly unattractive.

She came in with all kinds of softball crap the other day (Podunk Prep School sucks anyway), and I love to see parents with photos and information for me (one less coach to call, or one less boring ass softball game to go to and one less suck ass team to cover).

I jot down a bunch of info, tally stats on the scoresheets she brought, wrote a brief 340 words, scanned the photos, ran it.

Week later she comes in with more crap, and she timed her drop-in with my deadline. Oh well, she's nice enough and believe it or not, the first time round, she said don't mention her daughter. She played and did well, but she always does and to mention the other girls. So I did what she asked, and I thought that was rare.

Well she gave me more scoresheets and more photos on the second visit and then said she got in trouble with the first story. I asked how. She said Podunk Prep's public relations department is supposed to sign off on any media or approve any media prior to printing it. So she gave me the number of the PR lady to call and said I had to email the story to her before running it.

Problem with the story was I mentioned the team lost a game.

Well, that's when I had to tell her what's up. It doesn't work like that, I said. This is public information, number one. Number two, it's "news" win or lose. Number three, if the PR department wants to approve articles before printing in the paper, then they can write the stories and e-mail it to me. Number four, this isn't Podunk Prep's policy with football, what gives?

She had no answer and looked dumfounded that I would question her. I told her to have the PR lady call me, and that there was no way in hell I'd email stories to anybody for pre-approval or else nothing would ever be in the paper. She said she'd have the lady call me. She never called and now I can scratch that softball team off my list. Yippee!

 

What about calls from parents of cheerleaders? Now those are some psychotic parents. They're not real happy when you tell them that cheerleading is not a sport.

They ask, So why are the competitions on ESPN, then? Well, for one, ESPN is becoming quite a terrible network, but the E stands for Entertainment. Two, it is what you just said it was: a competition. Nothing that is scored subjectively -- that's right, ice skaters -- is a sport. Except boxing, but there is potential for an objective conclusion and knocking a man flat on his ass with a shot to the nose isn't quite the same as a human pyramid or a double axle.

Again, they're not too tickled when you tell them that.

 

Once a cheerleading squad went to florida and came back the big hoo-hah national friggin champions. who'd have thunk it possible?

Well, nice mom calls up and gives me the cell numbers of the coaches, emails me high res photos of action shots and trophy shots. Hell, it's a good feature, so I think.

Get this, left 18,000 messages for both coaches. Neither returned my calls. Then the mom calls back bitching as if I raped one of her smokin' hot daughters (she had some hot daughters).

So a week later after the competition got the story, my publisher is on my ass to reproduce it. I call the mom and get her daughters' cell numbers. I call and call and call (when they're out of school), finally I get them on the phone. I ask them the first question, such as how did it feel, and the girls would not stop freaking giggling, and could not utter one coherent sentence. I gave up, my publisher never forgave me for giving up on it. Neither did the mom, but I'd like to have been 17 again.

 

Hello, Mr. AD? Just wanted to let you know we're not covering your games any more. Why? Well, your policy on.....

 

a gu

Legend has it at my workplace this was once said about a father accusing us for being biased for another town: "Excuse me sir. You are confusing me with someone who gives a shit."

One parent complained to me that her son should be in the paper because he is the star of the JV team. I said if he was a star, he would be on the varsity. She didn't take it well.

And that is the lesson we all should tell them. We don't care of their kids win or lose, or have worked hard. We have no emotional investment, and we are not here to make your kid's life better.

I hate: "The kids are working really hard bit."

Everyone's kids work hard.

And I am not going to get excited about your little league team. I am not going to enable parents. Little League is not the most important thing in the world. It is so ridiculous on its face.