Quote of your career...

"There is no amount of turkey skin worth fighting over." (Police officer summing up a Thanksgiving Day brawl between mom's boyfriend and her son when it was discovered the boyfriend picked and ate all of the skin off the turkey while Mom was picking up the son, resulting in the boyfriend and son brawling and knocking the turkey to the floor).

 

Filled in for the football writer at our college paper for the weekly presser with the coach and I asked the coach about how the team always seems to need a half to get going offensively and what they needed to do to play a full game.

"I'm going to drug them before the game and tell them it's the second half."

 

"We need a few less girls and a few more broads."

HS girls soccer coach after team lost in regional playoffs.

 

High school football coach in North Carolina after blowing out an opponent: "'Player X' is pretty special. 'Player y' is a junior and he’s pretty special. My wife’s standing over there is fine as hell and she’s special. That’s the truth. I got her pregnant. God almighty. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I say. Just turn around and look at that. Holy smoke. That’s her fault I lost my train of thought.”

 

Losing college football coach was asked if he saw a light at the end of the tunnel. His reply?

"All I see is a train about to run over my ass."
--
Asked Moses Malone for a quote once during a summer workout in Houston.

Moses: "You got $500"

Me: "No. Why?"

Moses: "Cuz, that's what it costs to talk to me."

 

Reading this reminded me of a 5K I covered once, one that's famous 'round these parts for the free beer at its postrace awards ceremony. The women's winner was a character. She was wearing a sports bra that said, "Will run for beer," and just seemed to be having a great time with the whole thing. In talking to her, it was clear she was ready for an alcohol-fueled victory lap:
"This is my favorite race because it's the only one that has beer. We're from New Orleans, and all of the races there have beer. To deal with three kids under 7, you have to drink a little."