Random Thoughts the Third

High in mineral density.
You and my wife are in trouble - Fart's going to live forever.
Got Grandmother Fart's longevity, according to me physician.

 

"I thought I could drown all my sorrows, but then I figured out that my sorrows could swim." - Tranquillino Chestnut, the father and husband of some of more than 200 people massacred at Dos Erres by Guatamalan soldiers Dec. 6, 1982, as heard on NPR's This American Life

Turns out my sorrows can swim too

 

A plate of oysters with a glass of wine and my world is right.
Throw in some calamari, some razor clam, and a few escargots and I am a happy Fart.

 

I've never been horny enough to shove a light bulb up my ass...yet there ya go.

 

I'd like for Jan the Toyota lady to be locked in a room for a week forced to watch and hear all of her own godawful commercials. She'd get a 10-minute respite every day from her filth only to be subjected to the 1-877 Kars for Kids ad.

 

Oooooh, I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand with the one I love.
Ooooooooh, how I love the rainy days
And the happy way Fart feels inside.

 

I WANNA DANCE!
<img src="http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/aVO74MO_460sa.gif">

 

Poems - I love poems.
Ravish me with your words.
Seduce me.

 

There he sat
All broken-hearted.
Tried to poop
But only farted.

You can sing this one around the Fart family dinner table. Bon appetit.

 

Wife is sick, members and moderators.
It's an enduring love when you wipe green snot from your honey's chapped nose.
Someday we'll probably be wiping each other's backside.
For now, she's lucky to have a great nurse like Fart.

 

I just realized I can't look at Fleur-de-Lis back-pocketed jeans without wondering what Freqposter would think.

 

Today is Harassment Day!

RIP to one of the best.