Random Thoughts the Third

It all depends, IJAG. How good are your gifts?

 

I'm a giver.

 

I would like to talk about refried beans.

 

As long as the topic involves words and not sounds.

 

I don't know a single person named Henry.

 

Damn, just can't do it.

 

The female Aussie Rules football goal judge is pretty cute.

 

Which fat fuck succumbs to coronary distress first, Charlie Weis or Bill Parcells?

 

Austin is bigger than Pittsburgh?

The metropolitan areas must really be taken in consideration when looking at the size of a city.

But in regard to all other things ... Austin > Pittsburgh

 

At most, only 40 percent of white Americans supported the Patriots during the Revolutionary War.

 

I know, right? I ought to have pamphlets made.

Anyway, I think Andy Capp is more famous for cheddar fries than he is for the original comic.

 

Also true - back in the mid '60s, the Toronto Maple Leafs had goalies Gary and Al Smith in their farm system (they weren't related). Eddie Shore was running Springfield in the American Hockey League and got talking one day with Leafs GM Punch Imlach.

"I need a goalie," Shore says. "How about making a trade for one of your Smiths?"

"Okay," Imlach replies. "Which Smith?"

"I don't care which one," Shore says. "You decide." (This detail soon becomes important)

Soon a new player shows up in Springfield. Shore doesn't recognize him. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Smith, the guy you traded for."

"You're kinda small for a goalie. Where's your gear?"

"Goalie? I'm a defenceman."

Now Shore realizes something is wrong. "What's your name?"

"Bob Smith." (I don't actually remember the real first name, it's irrelevant)

Shore does the facepalm thing. "Fucked again."