Random Thoughts

University of Michigan basketball player.

 

Way too often, especially when it feels like you've hit a career dead end.

 

I worked Stratton Mountain in the winter of '98 as a lift ticket checker. Done the cold-as-hell-for-9-hours-a-day thing. Also done the construction worker thing; my sweat helped build the Sunderland bridge. Done dishes up the goddam gazoobo. I don't not like this business, but covering games and pretending that I give a shit isn't in me anymore. It's all so fucking boring. I'm 35; I shouldn't be running around covering prep games anymore. That's the job for a 24-year-old.

 

Much too often. To the point I've sat down and tried to figure out if there's anything else I could bullshit people into believing I knew what I was doing.

Like I have this field.

 

And the reason I'm opening up here, right now, is because I can't sleep and I know people here can relate. I won't just quit, but have you ever felt the end of the road, just around the corner?

 

If I felt I could do anything else, I'd be gone from this field, already.

This, I just feel comfortable rolling into the office and doing my thing. I could most of my job in my sleep. Yet I still feel amazingly dissatisfied.

 

Sad thing for me is if I were to become a teacher, with no experience but the state-mandated minimum, I'd make several thousand more than I do now.

 

Yes, dissatisfied. There's a daily in town, too. For 3 1/2 years I've busted my gut trying to compete. It's not in me anymore. The thing is, I want to run a department with an army of sportswriters. Any weekly people here probably understand this: As a one-man department, I'm so tired of being the entire team. I want to be part of a team, not the entire team. I'm so worn down. My brain is sapped of creativity. Worse, for the last month I have debauchered myself.

 

Xan, I hear ya.

Team, I'd love to be part of that. I've always been the square-peg-in-round-hole type, not fitting in. Haven't felt like a team on a staff since back in my college days, when we all got obliterated together every weekend it seems. I miss that a lot.

 

Actually it was every other night, not just the weekends.