Random Thoughts

If that happens, someone better fucking post it on YouTube.

 

OK, here is the story:

I got a hotel room - mind you, I went to a private college where even drinking and smoking was forbidden - but I got a room.
It was sketchy, but it was also cool, because we could fuck in a room for once. Me and the Montana girl.
So, we fucked and drank, and drank, and drank, and drank.
Then we were ready to fuck again, but I wanted to do it boots style, so she agreed.
Yet, there was no way to do it boots style, because there was no lube. No lotion. No nothing.
She graciously got in the bathtub, but the soap just wasn't doing enough.
So, I became extremely bitter. As any, 19-year-old would.
Well, the only thing even close to lube was the toothpaste she had brought.
So.
I put it on my dick.
And then I attempted to Boots her.
Oh, God, it hurt me so bad, but if it meant the boots' spot, I was willing.
Oh, wait. It hurts so much.
But no, never forget, you are boots-ing her.
Oh, no, it hurts too much.
Oh, my fuckingholyhellGod, my dick hurts so bad.
Whose idea was it for me to put toothpaste on my cock?
Oh, it hurts.
It hurts so bad.
No more fucking, be it Boots' style or any style.
That night it was a lot of uncomfortable sleeping Angola! style.

NBC message: Just so you know: You can't fuck a girl up the ass using toothpaste, it will hurt you more than it will hurt the girl.
The More You Know!

 

That is low, so low.

 

This is freaking hilarious, and I'm preserving it for all-time!

 

This might be the greatest post in the history of the Internet.

Edit: The use of the word "graciously" there is the funniest ever use of the word, or even an adverb, for that matter. Because let me tell you, when I think of the word "graciously," the image of two people doing it Boots style never comes to mind.

"She graciously offered to share her test guide with me."
"She graciously offered to share her soda with me."
"She graciously offered to lie in a bathtub so that she could loosen up enough for me to fuck her in the ass."

 

See, and this is what I don't get. You go down that road, and there's no prize there. No rainbow, no pot of gold.

"If it meant the boots' spot, I was willing." Please explain. ... Again.

 

Wow, Angola, I'm really glad you posted that because I'm 21 beers deepp over nine hours and I was about to post rht mySpace link I never should on this site. The girl who was discussed major at the outing.

 

Oh come on! I don't think any of us were even at the outing.

 

LUMINIOUS!!!!

The way that person is holding the box makes it even funnier.

I can see the new advertising campaigns: Freshen up for both parts of ATM with Colgate!!!

 

I don't think you understand. My theory is, if I van't walk from here to the kicthen to get water, I shouldn't post the linlk.

 

Water's overrated, CR.

And Angola!, Oh. My. God.