Random Thoughts

Goodnight, everyone. I have to cover doubleheader basketball tomorrow, despite it being my day off.

I also have to go to the grocery store. I will not be stocking up on toothpaste.

 

Honestly, I am trying to think why I decided this was a good time and place to post this and I can't decide. Well, I guess I will be the Colgate-butt of jokes for awhile. Oh, well. At least I get to go to spring training.

 

Fuckin a, I can just see Clerks if it was written after surfing this board.

Randal: Come on. Haven't you ever tried to brush your teeth with your own dick?

DANTE: No!

RANDAL: Yeah sure. You're so repressed.

DANTE: Because I never tried to brush my teeth with my own dick?

RANDAL: No, because you won't admit to it. As if a guy's a fucking pervert because he tries to go down on himself as he brushes his teeth. You're as curious as the rest of us, pal. You've tried it.

DANTE: Who found him?

RANDAL: My cousin? My aunt found him. On his bed, doubled over himself with his legs on top. Dick in his mouth. My aunt freaked out. Toothpaste all over the place. It was a mess.

DANTE: His dick was in his mouth?

RANDAL: Balls resting on his lips.

DANTE: He made it, hunhh?

RANDAL: Yeah, but at what a price.

Silence. Then...

DANTE: I could never reach.

RANDAL: Reach what?

DANTE: You know.

RANDAL: What, your dick?

DANTE: Yeah. Like you said, you know. I guess everyone tries to brush his teeth with his dick, sooner of later.

RANDAL: I never tried it.

DANTE glares at RANDAL. Silence. Then...

RANDAL: Fucking pervert.

 

They were roommates for half a semester, but I met them independently. The one on the right got way too close and psycho and wanted to marry me, so we don't talk much anymore. The one on the left lives in my apartment complex and parties with me regularly/hangs out most weeknights. I don't like your axiom, SC.

 

I was exagerrating (sp), dammit! I've never attacked by guy's ex or other current woman, FWIW. (well, there was this one time in HS, but that wasn't over just him)

 

Wait, it is 5:30 a.m. Central Time? Holy fucking shit. I knew it was late, but not that late. Mrs. Angola! will be home soon, that is unacceptable.
We will see you all tomorrow.
West Coasters - Don't have too much fun at my expense, remember, at least I told you my story -though I contend, in some ways my grave digging story is better.
Good night.

 

Per PMs received and common sense/sober reasoning, I won't be posting links anymore. The anonymous disrespect to the females isn't worth the entertainment for SportsJournalists.com late-nighters.

And even if I like 19-year-olds now, the jokes should never stop.

 

First of four classes starts in a little more than three hours, then to features to polish. Today is going to be rough.

Goodnight, and thanks for the fun, Angola!

 

I'm glad I provided fun for at least someone.
I also hope I am not the reason you stopped posting links. They have become a staple of late night SportsJournalists.com drunk threads, even if I am the only one drunk.

 

Holy fucking shit. I missed a lot.
Let me sum up my thoughts.
1. Angola, you're a sick fuck. A nice guy, but a sick, twisted fuck. And it sounds like you went to BYU.
2. Sportschick and Cadet are right on the curves. Fuck the twigs. I like me some curves. And small girls (i.e. between 4-11 and 5-1) are mighty flexible.
3. SC, why can't *I* stalk you on MySpace?
4. Cadet, how did the drunk painting end up?
5. BYH once again proves that he is my hero.
6. The term bootsing now officially is Angolaing. Colgate or no. "Hey, I Angolaed! my girl last night! Did you?"

 

Clearly I need to quit going out. I always miss the good stuff here.

 

Yeah, it's always better to have no life like the rest of us. :