Random Thoughts

It wasn't as funny as John Cena getting booed out of the Hammerstein Ballroom and losing his belt to Rob...Van...Dam!

 

Took my kids to one of those indoor playgrounds today and they had the top 40 station on the system, the most exposure I've had to top 40 radio in ages.

I heard them "drop" (I'm 35, so I put "drop" in quotes because I'm old as fuck) Justin Timberlake's song SexyBack.

Jesus ... H ... Christ.

I couldn't help but harken George Michael -- a rough equivalent to Justin Timberlake two decades ago.

I Want Your Sex is to SexyBack as James Joyce's Ulysses is to Madonna's Sex book. What a fucking horrible "song" -- if it can even be classified as such. I'd rather listen to a backho engine backfiring in my bedroom window for all etenity than that wallow for one second in that opus of utter shit.

Then they dropped/premiered Jay-Z's newest at halftime of MNF? Nothing screams street cred like sharing air time with Tony Kornheiser.

Granted, compared to SexyBack, it was somewhere in the range of Wagner's Ring Cycle, but then again, I could sing I Am Woman (Here My Roar) in the shower drunk off my ass, changing all of the "woman" references to the word "poop", and I'd hit some sort of Shangri-La-like Beatles-eque pop perfection compared to Timberlake.

So is Jay-Z the standard bearer of (popular) rap? What the fuck?

Pop culture just sucks almighty ass right now.

 

Jay-Z is still a gangsta to the Chinese... don't you worry, Bubs

 

??? ??? ??? ???
I am poop, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back and pretend
'Cuse I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Chorus:
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am poop

You can bend but never break me
'Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

Chorus

I am poop watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am poop
Oh, I am poop
I am invincible
I am strong

(fade)
I am poop
I am invincible
I am strong
I am poop

 

I mean, seriously, how many different ways of selling out did Jay-Z use in that video?

Not that he was ever a paragon for artistic purity, but that looked like a CSI: Miami episode gone horribly wrong ... or right as the case may be.

A rap album launch sponsored by Budweiser?

That's too fucking long a ways from the rap days of Too Short, when the only sponsor was Phillies blunts, 8,000 shout-outs in the liner notes to his posse, and a Fuck You to Shaniqa ... thanks for nothin', biiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!

 

Found while looking for Too Short liner notes, this is some funny shit ...

http://www.wfmu.org/LCD/Early/linernotes.html

Edit: Here's a taste ...

Billy Joel is 21, single and only sweats two things: perfecting his sound and South East Asia. He plays a Hammond organ rewired to bypass the Leslie tone cabinet, and it feeds directly into the amplifiers. He describes the sound as pure raunch.

Be assured that SOMETHING from that link is soon bound for my sig.

 

re: Bubbler

1. How can Justin Timberlake not be gay? And how did he get a beard like Cameron Diaz?

2. Has anyone else seen those chain e-mails going around about those indoor playgrounds? The ones that warn about the ball pits with hypodermic needles and used condoms and vomit at the bottom? Not sure that I believe the hype, but not sure I'd let my kids swim around in the germy stank of the ball pit.

 

I hate scanning slides.

 

I hate the after effect of fire extinguishers. During tonight's fire fun, we used one and I just had to clean up all the greenish-yellow dust. My nose is burning..not to mention any part of my skin that touched said dust.

 

Fuck ... you mean I wasn't supposed to put my used condoms in there?

And wallowing in vomit? Hell. That's a rite of fucking passage. Americana at its finest.

 

Way to spread your lovin' arms around SJ, Dools.

 

That's funny.
I've got a pit full of used condoms and needles, and some assholes keep throwing plastic balls in there.