Random Thoughts

Never tried it. Sounds difficult.

 

Never tried it. Sounds difficult.

 

Yes, children..don't try that at home!

 

Not sure if it's finished, but I am absolutely not writing anymore.

Ya-hoo.

 

That is just freaking BRILLIANT, JD!!!

 

Nay, verily thou art a comic genius. As was your joke.

 

My friend says she can tell when her two-year-old daughter's just about to make dirty in her pants. Says she can see it in her eyes. I think that's a really strange superpower to have.

 

Random Thought: Since I've been teaching these classes at work, I've finely honed my white boy dancing skills and even invented a few moves, like the Bongo Boogie, the Windshield Wiper, the Flower Bloom and the Retiree Rhumba (don't ask about that last one. It's so painfully funny to watch you need to wear Depends).

 

Your Navy buddies would love that information.

 

I hear on news reports all the time about one country's relationship with another. Heard it yesterday in reference to Bulgaria and the UK's "excellent" relations, potentially jeopardized by the Brits limiting Bulgarian workers.

For the record, I thought I'd share the status of my personal relations with the world's nations.

Canada -- We're cool now. I got deported in 1992, and I boycotted the TV show E.N.G. for five years, but time has healed the wounds. I've never been in the western provinces, but it is nothing personal.

Mexico -- My uncle was arrested there a decade ago. That, combined with the fact that Mexican food began to disagree with me about the same time, made my relations cool with our southern neighbors for a while. But I'm happy to say I haven't had any issues eating Mexican food lately, and I've taken an interest in Mexican history. Perhaps a summit meeting in the historical places of Cancun or Cozumel are in order.

Ireland -- Homeland of half my ancestry. Gotta love 'em.

Germany -- Homeland of probably 45 percent of my ancestry. It's not as cool to be of German descent as Irish descent, but I have to tell you, the eating is better on my Teutonic side. Nice job with the World Cup means relations are good as ever.

Luxembourg, Holland -- With the passing of my maternal grandmother, I found out I likely have a little bit of Luxembourgian and Dutch blood. Still being cautious with this, approaching relations with the two nations like I'm an adopted kid who found his true birth parents. It would help if Luxembourg had a decent soccer team, but they suck.

UK -- Traditionally have disliked the English, anti-Irish foreign policy, helping to create most of the world's fucked up hot spots, etc. But my wife revealed to me that she found out her mom has a significant English bloodline, which means my kids could be as much as 10 percent English. My initial reaction to cut off one of their limbs to make up for it has subsided, I am coming to grips with their Limeyness. If Leeds gets promoted back to the Prem, I'll feel a whole lot better.

Iran -- The nukes don't bother me as much as the wanna-be status they strive for. Dammit Iran, we've seen this poser crap before. Back in the 1800s, you thought you were all that, trying to invade Afghanistan and keep the Brits and Russians out of your country and you had nothin'! You can change your name like your Diddy or something, but we all know you're a bunch of bitch-ass Persians.

 

Maybe you should be on dancing with the stars, I've seen you dance and I always liked it. hehe

 

You have yet to see the dance card I have created for my students. The Sprinkler. The Lean. The Q-Tip. The Shower. Yowza. I have really lost all sense of shame in myself.