Running 2018 Winter Games thread

Canada beats USA women 2-1. Scrum in the crease after the game ended, but I'll let someone who knows more about hockey than I describe it:

 

He gone
Radio host fired after making sexual comments about Chloe Kim

 

Someone hit another player from behind and ended their career?

 

So Mikaela Shiffrin won gold last night.

 

There are not enough stories about how much sex the athletes are having

 

This seems bad.

 

Chen laid a big old egg in the short program.

 

My wife earned a lot of points tonight when we turned on the Olympics and they were showing men’s figure skating and she said “If this is what they’re showing I don’t want to watch.”

 

Norovirus is never contained to just two people, unless they're the only ones living in a cabin out in the woods.

 

Maybe they're living in a van down by the river.

That might be foleyvirus, though.

 

I was at a student conference that got hit by noro. I've never seen anything like it. The weirdest part of it is, you feel totally, totally fine, and then you suddenly start puking hard enough to crack your spine. It was spread through a contaminated serving spoon on the buffet. If you touched that spoon, I swear to God, you were doomed. It was like the Cheese Touch in Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Later that evening, on the bus to the conference-concluding fancy-dress gala, kids started throwing up on each other. Someone would be dancing, having a grand old time, and then start puking on the dance floor. Back at the hotel, there was puke in the stairwells, the elevators, in the potted plants in the lobby. Hundreds of people got hit. It was fucking Armageddon.

I was in bed when a conference organizer called me, waking me up, to make sure I was okay. I felt fine and told him so. Went back to my bed, realized I'd shit a great lake of fail in my sleep, and then threw up like the pie eaters in Stand By Me for twenty straight minutes before collapsing in a crumpled heap. I looked like a dropped puppet after.

Good luck, Olympians, is what I'm trying to say.

 

Shiffrin threw up from nerves before her signature event last night and didn’t end up medaling. The margin for error on these downhill races is so tiny, and it seems like they are more vulnerable to the randomness of the elements than nearly any other sports. You hit and get slowed by a patch of shitty snow that your competitor luckily avoided, you’re fucked.