Should I let my son quit football?

With so much riding on Allyson Felix, I'm not entirely sure Ms. Tarmoh "quit."

 

One of the things that’s striking to me in this thread is how many grown men here regret quitting football (or some other sport). I think it would have been a lot of fun to be a part of the team – to play however small a role – but I just couldn’t stand it. And I don’t think it was a temperament issue – although I am much more drawn to individual sports. Rather, I never was actually taught anything by a football coach.

I quit football as a junior, when my team had just come back from a week away at training camp and two-a-days were at an end. I knew that the hard part was over. But I also knew that I still had no clue as to what I was supposed to be doing. The lunkheads seemed to know what was going on, but I sure as hell didn’t. We’d do a drill and I’d hit the guy across from me as hard as I could, and the coaches would scream at me. Then the next go I’d dial it back a bit and the coaches would scream at me then, too. By the time I got to my last practice, I’d spent the whole of training camp lining up as a rail-thin defensive tackle with one of those big tackling dummies. Practice for me was positioning my tackling dummy between the right guard and right tackle, getting my ass clobbered for about five yards, then dragging the damn dummy back to the line of scrimmage for the next snap. Suddenly, in that last practice, I was summoned to run a few plays at … running back. What the fuck? I had, and have, no speed. I had never played running back. I knew damn good and well I would never play a single down as a running back. To this day, I have no clue why they told me to do that (it wasn’t as tackling fodder, because we weren’t tackling during those drills). Unless my coaches had suddenly decided to get into the mushrooms, no one on that field had ever envisioned me as a running back. And I thought to myself, “Is this the way it’s going to be? I’m just going to come out here and never know what in the hell is going on? To hell with this.” My best friend stuck it out and became a starter as a senior, but he admits that he never really knew what was going on either.

Last night, at my son’s first junior varsity game of the season, I saw some of the same stuff. My son’s team bus rolled into the parking lot 10 minutes after scheduled kickoff. They got seven minutes to warm up. Then it was toe meets leather. I was astounded at how disorganized they looked (this high school is a borderline player in the big levels here in Texas). The defense gave up two very long touchdown runs (the first on the opposition’s first play from scrimmage), and the offense could do very little. They got beat by three touchdowns. This morning my son, who played a good bit but was very frustrated by it all, told me that the offense’s first possession yesterday was the first time they’d ever actually tried to run one of their plays. All they’ve done to date is play scout team for the varsity. His team’s defense had never actually played a full down as a unit. No wonder they got their ass beat.

I hope my son doesn’t give football up because I think he really does enjoy most aspects of the game. And I don’t want him to be like me, harboring some tiny speck of regret that he didn’t get to enjoy that “being part of a team” that comes with playing football. But if he does give it up, I’ll certainly understand.

 

A few thoughts Dr Q.

The move to running back is a classic coach move to drive a marginal player out of program or show a parent that they might have gotten a note from....." Coach could have a word with you... I think DR Q could be a good RB. He was the fastest kid on his soccer team and when the neighborhood boys play touch he always outruns them"

Most JV teams are the poor stepchild of the Varsity. Unless program has a huge budget for a lot of coaches there is not enough time in the day to get JV and Varsity programs prepared for seasons at same time. Also it could be one of numbers where Varsity needs jv players for practice scrimmages.

The positive of even poorly coached JV programs is that it gives players a chance to actually get game experience that would be just watching a Varsity game.

 

I was lucky. I had an awesome football coach and I learned more from him than I did from any teacher at my high school.

He's still there more than 20 years later and he kept tabs on all of us. If I skipped out at lunch to run to taco bell, he knew about it. If my trig grade slipped from an A to a B, he knew about it. I was very lucky to have someone who cared about more than just what happened on the football field.

There is no question I got better grades because I played football because I knew I would catch shit if I didn't. I almost never cut class because I was worried about my coach finding out.

 

I can assure you it was not made in response to any parental involvement. My father, who'd been a good high school football player and actually was offered a college ride (he turned it down!), absolutely did not want me to play football. He wanted a doctor for a son. I did become one, but not quite the kind he had in mind!

I still don't have a clue why they put me in at running back those last few plays. I didn't get tackled ... we were a triple-option offense, so I took the pitch wide and then headed downfield for a few yards before they blew the whistle. I sometimes wonder if the coaches were just doing it for the hell of it. Or maybe they thought I'd actually run faster if I was scared. I was scared, but I doubt I ran faster!

I agree about the JV bit. Just trying to figure out how to make sure my son sees that. He gets to play a TON (way the hell more than I ever did). My wife and I are telling him that he really should look at the varsity's success (assuming it has some) as partly his, since clearly he put a lot in to helping the varsity prepare.

 

You need to tell your son that at the end of day it's about getting on the field and that the coaches have done him a favor by putting him on JV instead of having him stand around on Varsity. If he's angry have him use it as motivation. Anger is a good thing when channeled on the football field. Coaches will always notice kids that work hard and accept their lot.

 

Is the the pro typical hacky sack boy?

 

I don't see it as quitting, I see a kid deciding not to waste his time on something he doesn't want to do.

How many adults would put that kind of energy/commitment into something they didn't like and didn't want to do? Most people quit a diet after one week and quit a basic 30 minute 3x/week exercise program after two. But a kid has to show up every day, 6 days a week, for 2-3 hours, because he tried something and realized he didn't like it?

To me, success is about knowing what you want and don't want, and adjusting as you go. You can't tell kids to think like adults, and then tell them they're not adult enough to know what they think.

 

The difference to me is that kids are in a developmental / learning mode. Maybe the kids who quit a sport without completing season are the same adults who quite on a fitness class.

 

You can't play football if you're not into it. You're just a liability to yourself and everyone else. Go play soccer.
--Coach Boom