Simmons defends McGwire, rips Ann Killion

That's like winning the midget slam-dunk contest.

 

If you can't throw out Sid Bream at the plate from left field in the NLCS then you don't belong in the Hall of Fame!!!!!

 

I agree with you.

 

Simmons is actually sufferable, for once. This business about the children has to be the cheapest trick in the sportswriter's quiver. Enough. These are deeply silly people, these columnists who construct an entire morality based on what is and isn't easy to explain to Little Billy.

Or maybe I'm forgetting that entire generation of children who spent their formative years in the Bellagio sportsbook because of Pete Rose.

 

Ann Killion: Sit down kids, mommy needs to talk you.
Little Killion: C'mon mom, I'm playing the Wii you got me because you're never home.
AK: Well, I need to talk to you about my Hall of Fame vote (chokes up)...I'm not voting for Mark McGwire...for you two.
Other Little Killion: Is this because he's on the juice?
AK: How did you know about that? That's an adult problem. But yes, I think he took steroids.
OLK: Think? How did you not know that, when you were writing all those breathless columns about him? He looked like a Clydesdale swinging an elm tree.
AK: Hmm, that's a good line, can I use that?
OLK: No, I stole it off Klosterman.
AK: Anyway, I'm doing this for you kids, because I need to send a message to you and the youth of America. Drugs are bad.
LK: Well, what about Tony Gwynn. You voted for him and he eats a lot of trans-fats. I mean look at the guy!
(Lightbulb appears over Ann Killion's head, she rushes out of her room as her kids return to e-mailing 35-year-old men on myspace)

 

McGwire man-up? Isn't that hard to do given steroids' effect on, uh, you know?

 

It must be nice to live in Bill's world of absolutes. Karate Kid references are always hilarious. People always give a shit what my buddy (insert asinine nickname here) says. All cheaters should be allowed into the Hall of Fame and if you disagree, you're just a sanctimonious prick on your moral high horse.

You know, O.J. got away with murder. Michael Jackson got away with diddling kids. We still punish other people for those crimes. Just because some people get away with things doesn't give the rest of humanity a free pass to do whatever the fuck they want. So if you don't want to vote for McGwire because you don't want to reward him for sticking a needle in his ass, the fact that Gaylord Perry doctored the ball or Ty Cobb hated blacks should have exactly jack shit to do with your decision.

 

Well said, Brock. Well said.

 

Meanwhile, Shawn Merriman's in the Pro Bowl and up for Defensive Player of the Year, his competitors for the award have spoken out against Merriman's inclusion in both the Pro Bowl and the DPOY contention.

Please, write about something of substance.

 

I'm with Ragu here. Pint-size Barry Bonds still would have been a Hall of Famer. Pre-muscle man McGwire no way.

And the "protecting the kids thing" is not accurate. Killion wasn't protecting her kids. She was trying to be honest with them.

 

Someone else on this board knows how to read.