SJ.COM All-purpose dating thread

Nice to see this thread make a comeback.

Speaking of comebacks, I mentioned someone I was dating early on in this thread (around page 11 or so). You wouldn't think that a single dad with two kids could find a match (on match.com even!) but it happened. I know I am outpunting my coverage big-time, but somehow I found her. She's beautiful, she's funny, she's a great mom (has a child of her own), and she's the best thing that ever happened to me.

And, two weeks ago, she agreed to marry me.

So, we're planning an October wedding, and I have never been happier.

I say this not to brag, but to tell all the daters out there that it can happen. Trust me, if it can happen to me, then I know you can find your soul mate too. Hang in there.

 

Congrats!

 

Great news, congrats!!

 

Backyardigan, that is great. Congrats. I feel I've met my soulmate as well. We've been living together about a month and a half and I hope we'll be announcing an engagement sometime soon too. Yes hopeful daters, it can happen!

 

Awesome news for you too, Magic. Sometimes, you just know when you have found the right person. Congrats.

 

http://videohub.ro/video/1512/Rod-Stewart-Hot-Legs-video



Backyardigan and Magic: Congratulations to both of you.

 

Back from the dead ...

He told his wife three weeks ago they were done. She's been cheating on him for the last two years and he finally got tired of trying to work it out with her.

They have two incredibly beautiful kids - five-year-old girl, three-year-old boy.

They're living in the same house until he takes possession of his new place in August. Separate bedrooms ... separate floors for that matter.

They're staying friends.

He is an amazing individual ... kind, affectionate, easy-going, generous ... ah, the qualities I could tick off ...

We have an amazing connection. We spent the weekend playing ball together and, last night and tonight, we were the last ones to leave the park.

We've exchanged phone numbers. In fact, we just ended a text exchange a few minutes ago. Even though we just parted each other's company a half hour ago.

He's known for a lot longer than a month that his marriage was dead ... just took him some time to get to saying the words.

Here's the rub: he's never been on his own. He left his parents' house to buy a house with his brother. He went from that house to the house with his wife. And now eight years later, he's on his own for real for the first time in his life.

He obviously needs some time alone, to grow and to adjust to this new him.

But we do want to hang out with each other, see what happens and deal with it as it comes.

So ... any advice on how to deal with this would be most welcome. Very seriously, this guy is amazing and this is going to be a test of my patience, for sure.

 

You offered the best advice to yourself without asking us.

Spend time with him as you see fit. Don't smother him, but show him that you care. If he's recently out of a relationship (and you want to see him long-term), don't be that "rebound woman" that comes into his life.

You are far better than that.

 

So here's a new one in my list of hard-luck dating stories.

I meet a girl through a mutual friend one night and we hit it off incredibly well. Similar interests, experiences, etc. There was great flirting going on throughout the night and before she leaves, I ask her for if I can have her number. She says, "I want to go on a date with you!" Great, I say and tell her I'll call her.

We set up the date for a week or so later (her parents arrived in town the next day to spend a week). When we finally go, it goes great. We get sushi, which I don't even like, but have a lot of fun (and I even enjoyed the sushi of hers that I tried).

At the end of the night, I ask her if we can do it again and she excitedly says "definitely." I press her and ask when and she says, "As soon as you call me." That night, she texts me to tell me the lei I bought her (we're in Hawaii, after all) is on her nightstand and "smells delicious."

So the next day, I call and we talk for about 20 minutes. Again, all is well and we set up another date for five days later, a Monday (work scheduling conflicts).

So I wait a couple days, then call her on Friday from work. She doesn't answer because she's out with friends so I leave a message just saying hi. On Sunday, I call again to say hi and confirm Monday's plans. No answer and no return call. This I think, is curious.

On Monday, I call her before work to check on plans, but no answer, so I don't leave a message. No return call. I call her again when I get off work and say that I thought we had plans but hadn't heard from her in almost a week and I'm a bit confused because everything seemed like it was going well and I didn't know if anything had changed.

She TEXTS me back saying, "I definitely had a great time with you and I think you're an amazing guy, but I'm just not in a position to date anyone right now. I hope you understand."

I don't understand because she never mentioned any recent ex-boyfriends, but I tell her I do and I wish we could have given it more of a shot. Haven't heard from her since. I thought about texting her a couple times to see if she wanted to meet up with myself and some mutual friends, but didn't.

It really sucks because I had a big-time connection with her, more than I've had with all but maybe one girl in my life and just like that, it's over before it gets started.

 

Sounds like she is on Match.com and she thinks she caught a better fish.

 

Exac-itively. Good luck!

 

bigpern, I have been there too and it's quite possible - probable? - that 93Devil is on the money.

But if she's that much of a flake, no matter what kind of connection you may have with her, it's way better to find out now.