SJ.COM All-purpose dating thread

Wow. That's kind of a tough thing to say to someone.

 

That was my thought, too. Even if it is true, what good does saying it do?

 

It makes them feel better, at your expense.

Which should make you thankful it didn't end up that way.

 

I can see how she gets to get those feelings out and she gets the validation that I'm sure came with his reaction.

Of course, we are taking all of this out of context, so it is entirely possible that we have no idea what we are talking about.

 

It's one of my pet peeves about man/woman stuff. "Hey, thanks for being my second choice, which I can safely say now that I'm in a committed relationship with someone other than you." Classy.

 

Yeah, that's a pretty cruel "compliment."

That said, what JJ posted was good stuff. A lot of people need to hear it -- and heed it -- at one point or another (I know I did.) It's an easy trap to fall into. But OOP's story offers an alternative; you gotta be assertive about these things.

It's important to remember that nobody's a mind-reader, man or woman.

 

I knew you were gonna say that.

 

The emu put that thought into your head.

 

If I was going to buy anyone being a mind-reader, it wouldn't be you.

 

Great advice. Like a lot of people here, wish I learned it earlier. Glad I did at some point...

 

Well put. And don't wait for a perfect moment, either, assuming there will be more time later. Sometimes, you get one moment and once it's gone, you can never get it back.

 

Next time I see a girl I'm remotely interested in this advice I will heed all this advice. So, stay tuned in 2010. <small isolated town grumblegrumblegrumble>