SJ.COM All-purpose dating thread

Um men don't talk about other men's shoe sizes

 

Wasn't asking. Just saying, that's the only reason I can see how that might be a good idea, if you have feet worth showing off.

 

This.

 

It doesn't have to be shoes, just something without the pretention of a date. Nothing more than two people spending the day together having a good time, chatting and having fun. I like it because if you take a woman on a traditional date, there are too many presumptions. This way if you choose to put her in the friend zone it's a much easier transition.

 

I'm curious what the ladies think of this ... I've had several girls who I took out on legit dates say, 'God, no guy has ever taken me on a real date before. Thank you.'

 

A 'real' date, in the traditional sense of the word, would be getting picked up at the door, taken out for dinner and a show, etc. etc. etc., yes?

If so then I had my first 'real' date this summer and I'm 38.

I don't want to speak for everyone but I think we've grown up in an era of 'hookups,' rather than dates. We've so ingrained to the idea of dragging someone off from the club that we've lost the concept of traditional dating.

And, yeah, that's sad.

 

I don't mind going shopping with a guy, but I prefer "real" dates, at least the first few times. It might be nicer for you, slytiger, but as a girl, it says to me you take me seriously as a potential mate. I mean my guy friends take me shopping so they don't look like fools when they get dressed of a morning, any guy who's dating me had better be doing something more than my guy friends.

 

Don't you do the non-traditional stuff -- shopping, etc -- once you know the person a little better?

Personally, I stick with dinner/coffee/etc. for the first two dates or so and then move onto something else, like an outdoor activity, on the third.

Then again, I'm 29, single and have had minimal luck in the romance department.

 

Well, yea, but it takes a while. I'm fairly traditional (other than I pay my own way) in the dating department. Movies, dinner, concerts, games or coffee for the first month or so.

Hell, it takes about a month before I'll let a guy pick me up. You don't need to know where I live unless it's going to be a real relationship.

 

Yep.

Good luck!!!

 

This.

The whole 'non-real-date-date' is a HUGE reason why there are so many mis-communicated 'friend zone' issues.

That's not to say that girls won't develop feelings for guy friends (or vice versa), but both parties are more likely to be scared of 'ruining the friendship' by saying something if the line isn't drawn very early.

 

I can't tell you how many times I've gone to take a girl on a real date, or a legit date, or whatever you call it and she thinks its a friendly get together. Lots of miscommunication.