SJ.COM All-purpose dating thread

But I purr and I'm soft and cuddly and fit easily into most overhead compartments!

 

Yeah, I've dated soft and cuddly. I'll pass.

 

I'm more handsomer than those guys, and I don't flake out! (Unless there's catnip nearby)

 

Besides...what would Maggie say?

 

I quit.

 

Well, damn. She'd kick my ass and bite my tail again, I'm sure.

 

Stan, here's the thing. I think there's real chemistry between us. But our love will not be accepted in society.

Not until they let teh gays marry. THEN, after that slope gets slippery...we can begin our love affair for the ages. I mean, bestiality is next after teh gays, right?

 

You're going about it all wrong. Select that you want tons of kids.

You have to fuck with the system if you don't want the system to fuck with you.

 

That's what Hondo and Scribe told me, so I'm sure it'll be true before I go see the almighty Horny and frolick in the land of low, slow flying birds.

 

I want someone whose fucking DOESN'T have them in the system.

 

Yeah, that would be a dealbreaker for me, too.

 

Get this one ... I'm a writer, right? You'd think I'd be able to express myself and what I want well enough on a dating profile, right?

Wrong. I fucking hate writing about myself. For so many years, I've been telling other people's stories that I'm completely incapable of telling my own.

Sure, maybe this, that, and the other thing would be interesting to Joe Blow. To me, it's not. And it's not that I have this wicked case of self-loathing (I think we can all agree that I don't) but I am my most critical editor.

It's one of the things I'm working on with my therapist but it just drives me nuts that I can't barf out enough words to make myself seem somewhat interesting to some moron who can barely string three sentences together without a misspelling or using 'texting'.

Fuck.