SJ.com Outing, er, GetTogether, Toronto, July 14-16

FINALLY home after a 14-hour odyssey, and knowing Sam and sxy are still on the road for another two hours makes me feel even worse.

Things I learned in Toronto:
1. Despite being roughly half my age, OrangeHat Bobcat is more than capable of sharing painful Cleveland sports memories over a Keiths and a smile.
2. Despite being roughly twice my age, Daddy Bobcat was one of the coolest people there. LOVE that guy. Wish I'd gotten to spend more time with him.
3. Spnited and I are NOT an item, though I did kiss him on the elevator and grope him in the group picture.
4. Elliotte Friedman is mindblowingly hot, and I have independent verification, NO MATTER WHAT SOCCER DAD SAYS.
5. Nipplegate will live forever in my camera and my nightmares.
6. Dr. J hates people, but loves Canadians.
7. Farmer J is multitalented.
8. Ragu actually DOES have a face.
9. Wicked won't let me come in his pocket...after his phone.
10. HC may actually be the coolest chick I've ever known. Next to my mom...and that's only because I've known my mom longer.
11. JR is crazy cool, and was willing to put up with people being REALLY obnoxious at the Irish Embassy.
12. Elliotte Friedman is mindblowingly hot.
13. Our secret special guest was COMPLETELY worth keeping the secret. Good stuff.
14. Double J does not have a hairy chest.
15. Dooley shows up fashionably late...like me.
16. Maple Sugar may say she won't come to breakfast...but she will.
17. PaperDoll and the boy are more than capable of doing their own thing individually, then coming back when it's time to drink.
18. Pete, he of the 22 posts or whatever, ties Daddy Bobcat as my breakout star of the outing.
19. Huggy loves him some Brampton Battalion (I think that's what it is) and is pretty freaking kickass for handing out HOF tickets.
20. Elliotte is mindblowingly hot.
21. CradleRobber has real problems controlling his volume when he's inebriated.
22. Jimbo is awesome, but should really look into cologne.
23. Sxy is capable of driving for like 18 hours straight without needing to sleep, and without bitching even once. Bless her. Oh, and her nickname is now "drunkface."
24. Sam takes longer to get ready than any man I've ever known.
25. Patchs makes kickass name tags, though I never did take one. But he even put the logo on them!!
26. Jones was put up on a pedestal by me...and more than lived up to it. No one I'd rather hang out with over a pint of Keiths.


If I've forgotten anyone, blame my exhaustion and leftover alcohol in my system. Let me know, and I'll add you to my list.

I'll post the memorable quotes that I wrote down on my ticket envelope tomorrow. Still funny as shit to those of us who witnessed them, though it's going to be hard to top Passy's "Hit it like a spare" from last year.

 

My observations from a fun weekend:
--For the record, Sam, Ragu, Pete and I were the ones who stayed faithful to sports journalism by staying all 14 innings of Saturday's game. Spnited would have, but IJAG would have killed him. But if the Jays would not have scored, Sam would probably have been the only one staying.
--And "the name is Pete. Just Pete." He posts so little, that I originally thought he was there as a Canadian. But I found out otherwise, and he's a cool guy that I ended up talking to the most because we ended up getting tickets at the end of the grouping for both games.
--For the record, IJAG thinks spnited's ass feels nice.
--Hockey Hall of Fame was great. Judging by the trading card display, half of the pro hockey players in the 1970s looked like porn stars. And I was happiest to get pics of Bernie Federko's Hall of Fame display and of the WHA's championship trophy.
--In looking at the writers wing of the hall, we were picturing a future Hockey_Beat display.
--A great part of the outing was getting to know people I had hardly talked to on the board. Patches and PaperDoll were certainly in that category. Darn good people.
--For the record, the "death march" Patches referred to was he and I getting into the park first. We went the wrong way and ended up just about circling the park.
--For the record, the view of the CN tower looming over Rogers Centre is awesome. Blue Jays fans aren't the noisiest lot, and the concession stands are few and far between, but the scoreboards are real splashy.
--I had gotten to the Loose Moose late Friday, and I stared at the group for about a minute, and thought that I needed to keep looking. HC (bears repeating that her singing voice is awesome) finally caught up to me and set me straight. Then when I saw sammills51 wearing, well, Sam Mills, 51, I knew I was in the right place.
--Patches did provide name tags. That is, except when he really needed to, like when spnited and I were trying to tell him to make a couple pairs of comely women honorary members of the outing late Friday night.
--For the record, spnited is old. JR mentioned that he looked younger than spnited. Then again, Jane Pittman looks younger than spnited. But also for the record, spnited is very young at heart and is surely capable of Jones-ian debauchery. Also for the record, I can't confirm if his ass feels nice.
--IJAG did not kiss me in the elevator. :'(
--For the record, thanks to JR, HC, Jones and Maple Sugar for putting in the hard work so we could have fun. And Maple, thank you so much for putting up with the extra driving, amiga. Was nice to meet you.
--For the record, this may be my longest post ever.

 

Being back in the United States isn't fun. The Detroit bus station is a little different at night than during the day. I still don't like this place, but maybe I'll come around before Wednesday's game against the White Sox. In the morning, Father Robber and I will drive to Ft. Wayne, Indiana for a minor league game, and catch another Tuesday before heading back to Detroit.

Someone please post the quotes from the outing.

 

Those are for you especially, HC. Thanks again to you, JR, Huggy and everybody else for everything!

 

Oh, shit, forgot to mention Huggy. Thank you very much. KSHE and WSHE rock.

 

It didn't work out, sadly...got a phone call from CradleRobber at 11-ish this morning, and I was three-quarters asleep and an hour-twenty minutes away from Rogers.

It was fun, though, to be woken up by a phone call from a guy who introduced himself as "CradleRobber".

Highlight of my day.

 

How did Elliotte Friedman end up being involved in these shenanigans?

 

Those in attendance have been sworn to secrecy.
DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!!
---------------------------------
OK, It's 7am, and in exactly an hour and two minutes, I will have been up for 24 hours straight. Damn, I don't want to see so much of Pennsylvania ever again. Will post my thoughts on the trip after I've had about 12 hours of sleep. It was hella-cool (hi Cradle!) ...

 

This is like the SportsJournalists.com intranet.

 

You mean is was pretty tight?

 

I just finished reading through far too many pages of lies and fabrications.
I don't know who that imposter was in your midst but I was nowhere near Toronto this past weekend.
I don't know whose ass IJAG was grabbing and commenting "for an old man, you got a pretty nice ass," but it wasn't mine (although I'm sure there are thousands of other candidates throughout the US and Canada).
I don't know who was riding in the elevator with Sam and Sxy on Friday afternoon, but it wasn't me.
I don't know who was talking to 20-something blondes (possibly working girls?) at PizzaPizza at 3:15 Saturday monring (after one of them stumbled on the rain-soaked steps and fell almost at somebody's feet) but it wasn't me.
I have no idea what Nipplegate is and I don't want to know. (But I do want to see the pictures).
I have no idea why I feel like I spent the entire weekend drinking for 48 hours straight and then drove 8½ hours to get home, when I never left New Jersey.

 

Well guys, my clock has run down, time to catch up with some sleep.
And Double J, oh man, good thing FJ wasn't with you, she would have snapped some pics.
Or maybe it was... nah.
DJ, it was a pleasure drinking with you.
Any guy who knows lines from "I Married an Axe Murderer" is OK in my book.
Stay classy.
BTW: Wonder where the Dixie SportsJournalists.commers are right now?