SJ.com Style Guide!!! (running thread)

The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides: The punchline to the funniest geometry joke.

 

Malodorous Swill: Once used to describe the press box food at a Notre Dame football game. See also Fetid Tubes of Flesh.

The Shocker: The official SportsJournalists.com finger gesture. Two in the pink and one in the stink.

 

The Dwarf: A reference to Detroit Free Press comminist/fiction author/TV host/Radio maven/songwriter and only man capable of being in two places at once. The moniker is in reference to his overall size, not of his ears or self-worth or opinion.
Loopy: A reference to New York comminist Mike Lupica. While it might appear to be an offshoot of his name, it is actually how he acts most of the time.
Eddie Munster A reference to Chicago Sun Times' hatemonger Jay Mariotti. Also see: clown comma ass.

 

Rob Parker: The worst writer in America. So bad, indeed, that his nickname is his name.

 

Jay Greenberg disagrees...

 

Lazier than Stuart Scott's Eye: Supposedly the phrase that got Kenny Mayne put on shit detail at the Leader.

pho-real: Someone else has to write this one.

 

Horny -- Celestial unicorn who serves as the God(dess) of the official SportsJournalists.com religion

Big Baby Jesus -- aka BBJ or Sidney Crosby. Horny's son, sent to smite evildoers and return hockey to its rightful place in the pantheon of sports.

 

I'll take it, Zeke.

pho-real: A now-defunct poster who may or may not one day be arrested for stalking LeBron James. Showed up one day and started creating thread after thread dedicated to fellating the Cavs superstar. Also possessed perhaps the worst grammar and spelling in SportsJournalists.com history. Proclaimed to be a high school senior and soon-to-be premed student at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor, but believed by most to be the alter-ego of a long-time SportsJournalists.com member.

(See also: dicksnort, douchenozzle)

 

In the interest of full disclosure, I think pho-real's grammar was WAY better than Bandwagon Boy's.

 

I'm part of the SportsJournalists.com lexicon?

Wow!

I....I.....don't know what to say.

 

Schrödinger's cat: famous illustration of the principle of superposition in quantum theory, proposed by Erwin Schrödinger in 1935. Schrödinger's cat serves to demonstrate the apparent conflict between what quantum theory tells us is true about the nature and behavior of matter on the microscopic level and what we observe to be true about the nature and behavior of matter on the macroscopic level.
A living cat is placed into a steel chamber, along with a device containing a vial of hydrocyanic acid. There is, in the chamber, a very small amount of a radioactive substance. If even a single atom of the substance decays during the test period, a relay mechanism will trip a hammer, which will, in turn, break the vial and kill the cat. The observer cannot know whether or not an atom of the substance has decayed, and consequently, cannot know whether the vial has been broken, the hydrocyanic acid released, and the cat killed. Since we cannot know, the cat is both dead and alive according to quantum law, in a superposition of states. It is only when we break open the box and learn the condition of the cat that the superposition is lost, and the cat becomes one or the other (dead or alive). This situation is sometimes called quantum indeterminacy or the observer's paradox: the observation or measurement itself affects an outcome, so that it can never be known what the outcome would have been if it were not observed.

 

Thought maybe you'd post the Dolphin Sex Thesis, but the cat thing was pretty good.