SJ.com turns real: Horny dolphins attack Jessica Alba & Susan Sarandon

I doubt the dolphins were trying to hurt them on porpoise. ;D

 

Carl Hiaasen is a fucking hack.

 

That's not Bettie Page in your sidesaddle, is it? If not, who is it?

 

It looks like Liz Taylor.

 

Didn't Led Zeppelin have a groupie fuck a dolphin in Hammer of the Gods?

That book is trash at its finest. I love the song descriptions. I seem to remember Out On The Tiles being described, "like sippin' Boone's Farm out on the farm" or something.

 

I thought Zep jammed a deceased mud shark into a groupie's hoo-hoo.

 

P.S. There's a cannibalism joke to be made there, but I'm not the man to make it.

 

Oh yeah. I knew it was a sea-faring creature of some sort.

The story of John Paul Jones giving the dolphin No Quarter in the blowhole didn't make the final book edit apparently. :-X

Weren't they going to make a movie based on that book? Or did they already?

 

Don't know about the Zep movie, but in Ricky Gervais's "Animals," he has a great bit about gay dolphins fucking each other in the blowhole.

"But Reggie, I can't breathe! Can't we just do each other in the ass like everybody else?"

"IT'S IN THE HEAD OR NOTHING!"

 

Damn. Those are some aggressively-gay sea mammals.

I wonder if you have to lube a blowhole?

Edit: The above sentence, upon further review, is the single strangest combination of words I have ever put together in my life. I am as disturbed as anyone that the above thought even entered my brain for a nanosecond, much less inspired me to post a question about it. I go to bed in shame.

 

Oh, come on. Your mac and cheese post was just as weird.

 

Sadly, lube and blowholes will also disturb my final thoughts before sleep. What dreams may come....