Skills you have that are obsolete

What are you talking about? Watching scramble porn!

 

Mastering the ability to watch and record clips of PPV porn to keep it under the two minute limit where you'd get charged. I was always fearing the bill each month as a teenager but never went over the limit.

The VHS tape would be 1988 NBA playoffs. Dominique-Bird, then hairspray chicks getting down, back to Nique-Bird. Back and forth.

 

Quilting, pegging my pants legs, West Tennessee Africanist occult rituals, roselith screen printing, imitating Amy Carter...

 

Thank God you didn't slip a comma in before "my"

 

You mean my 'at work back scratcher'?

 

Or the thing used to cut the birthday cake because no one brought a knife?

 

Dating

/DaveHon

 

Not going to lie: The only thing I could come up with for this topic, and I am being completely serious ...

cunnilingus.

I'm 52 years old now. My wife is almost 45 and still smoking hot -- to me, anyway. But she won't even get undressed in front of me anymore, and I'm lucky if I can get a hand down there.

I was always told I was "the best" at it. And in all honesty, the ability to make a woman literally quiver and moan was something I've prided myself on for years.

Gone. All gone.

 

Reading this post was the equivalent of putting my sex drive into a box and burying it in the backyard.

 

This is the veritable definition of TMI.

 

On the plus side, HandsomeHarley's PM inbox is off the hook.

 

On the ballot for the saddest post of the year.