Snip snip

I went in to a local well recommended doctor who has a clinic in a converted bungalow. It was for a "no scalpel" procedure and a couple buddies had also used him.

The clinic also does circumcision and botox so a bit of an unusual mix in the waiting room.

For the consult I entered the room which was in the converted basement. Left side was no problem but took forever to find the vein on the right side. More uncomfortable than painful.

Eventually found it and I went back upstairs to book the appointment a week later. Repeat the same procedure, just him and I in the basement only he can't find the vein on the right side.

After what seemed like an eternity he says he can't do it and refers me to a hot shot urologist.

Couple months later I see the Urologist, says I will be one of the last vasectomies he does as he likes doing more challenging things in his practice. No issues finding vein.

Very stoic guy, sounded like Mr Sulu for Star Trek. He asked me to tell him what the issue was and as I explain it I say that with the other doctor it felt like a monkey squeezing a nerf ball. He breaks out laughing and had to excuse himself.

2 weeks late go in for procedure. Just me and him, no nurse, more discomfort than pain, felt a bit faint but I texted the entire time, probably should have posted here while getting it done.

Day on the couch, went back to work the next day.

 

Am I the only one surprised Chef did not perform the procedure on himself with the business end of a pica pole?

 

He'd need to be halfway through a case of Coors Light first.

 

No.
Toes are one thing.
Balls are something entirely different........altogether.
"Balls are something entirely different...."

 

Rubbish.
Bud Heavy.

 

I think it was Plato who first said 'Balls and toes are different, entirely different.'

 

When I had mine done, the doctor, upon reminding me to make sure to bring samples to the lab in the ensuing weeks in order to make sure I was sperm-free, told me this:

He said that among the hundreds of vasectomies he had done, only two men, that he knew of, ended up with pregnant wives. In each cases, the guy never brought his sample in to be checked. But once their wives got pregnant, they came in, and they were pissed.

In the first case, the guy finally gave a sample and the doctor said, "Sure enough. There's sperm there. Something grew back. Should have made sure of this awhile ago."

In the second case, the guy finally gave his sample and the doctor said, "Uh, no sperm." When the guy asked what that means, the doctor said, "I can't say anything for sure other than, right now, you can't get your wife pregnant."

 

Is it me or does it sound like Iron Chet's doctor had a diploma from the University of Guatemala?

 

Mrs. Whitman has been pushing for this for a long time, and I have been resisting for a long time. My best friend said that for a year, it felt like he got "punched in the nuts" every time he finished. I have been starting to try to get myself to come around to getting it done. (No pun intended.) The bolded portion of the story above assures that I will, instead, continue to resist for quite a while longer.

 

Way to go Orvile.
You've got potential patients scared to death they're going to shit everywhere on the doctors table!

 

Those who have not gone under the knife, what do you use to stave off kids?
Condoms?
The pill?

 

Pull and pray.