Starch Madness -- Frosted Flakes chosen as the SJ.com favorite!

Re: Starch Madness -- Second Round, page 3

Gotta get my own personal picks in ... results will be tallied and posted after I get off work, so you deadbeats may be able to sneak your second-round selections in before I get home.

SECOND ROUND
Grandma's House Sectional (at Golden Valley, Minn.)
1. Cheerios (28-2)

4. Honey Nut Cheerios (28-2)

3. Life (25-5)

2. Frosted Mini Wheats (25-5)


Raisin Hell Sectional (at Battle Creek, Mich.)
1. Corn Flakes (25-5)

4. Honey Bunches of Oats (26-4)

3. Rice Krispies (24-6)

2. Raisin Bran (23-7)


Sugar Fix Sectional (at Peterborough, Ont) *group of death
8. Cocoa Krispies (17-13)

4. Cookie Crisp (22-8)

6. Honeycomb (18-12)

2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch (26-4)


Midnight Snack Sectional (at La Jolla, Calif.)
1. Frosted Flakes (30-0)

5. Chex (22-8)

11. Cinnamon Life (22-8)

2. Golden Grahams (28-2)

 

Re: Starch Madness -- Second Round, page 3

I'm late, hope they count!

Grandma's House Sectional (at Golden Valley, Minn.)
1. Cheerios (28-2)

4. Honey Nut Cheerios (28-2)

6. Count Chocula (24-6)

7. Fruit Loops (24-6)


Raisin Hell Sectional (at Battle Creek, Mich.)

8. Corn Pops (21-9)

12. Marshmallow Alpha Bits (15-15, 4-1*)

3. Rice Krispies (24-6)

7. Apple Jacks (24-6)


Sugar Fix Sectional (at Peterborough, Ont) *group of death

1. Lucky Charms (27-3)

4. Cookie Crisp (22-8)

3. Cap'n Crunch (19-11)

10. Smacks (16-14)


Midnight Snack Sectional (at La Jolla, Calif.)

1. Frosted Flakes (30-0)

4. Fruity Pebbles (26-4)

3. Wheaties (21-9)

2. Golden Grahams (28-2)

 

Re: Starch Madness -- Second Round, page 3

I await the third-round pairings with bated breath.

 

Re: Starch Madness -- Second Round, page 3

The tribe is restless...

 

Re: Starch Madness -- Second Round, page 3

OK, voting is officially closed, results will be up as soon as I can tally them. And pour myself a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats.

Had a few things come up at work this week, folks, and your patience is appreciated.

 

Re: Starch Madness -- Second Round, page 3

And the results are in:

SECOND ROUND

Grandma's House Sectional (at Golden Valley, Minn.)
1. Cheerios def. 9. Alpha Bits, 15-8
5. Cocoa Puffs def. 4. Honey Nut Cheerios, 12-11
6. Count Chocula def. 3. Life, 12-11
7. Fruit Loops def. 2. Frosted Mini Wheats, 14-9


Raisin Hell Sectional (at Battle Creek, Mich.)
1. Corn Flakes def. 8. Corn Pops, 16-7
4. Honey Bunches of Oats def. 12. Marshmallow Alpha Bits, 14-9
3. Rice Krispies def. 11. Boo Berry, 19-4
7. Apple Jacks def. 2. Raisin Bran, 14-9


Sugar Fix Sectional (at Peterborough, Ont) *group of death
1. Lucky Charms def. 8. Cocoa Krispies, 14-9
5. Trix def. 4. Cookie Crisp, 14-9
3. Cap'n Crunch def. 6. Honeycomb, 14-9
2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch def. 10. Smacks, 17-6


Midnight Snack Sectional (at La Jolla, Calif.)
1. Frosted Flakes def. 9. Golden Crisp, 21-2
4. Fruity Pebbles def. 5. Chex, 17-6
11. Cinnamon Life def. 3. Wheaties, 15-8
2. Golden Grahams def. 7. Cocoa Pebbles, 13-10


Clearly, we see where the childhood obesity epidemic stems from. Chex, Wheaties, Raisin Bran, Life and Honey Nut Cheerios all fell to more sugary counterparts.

It was just one vote that kept Cheerios and Honey Nut Cheerios from meeting in the Sweet Sixteen. One vote! Others that squeaked out victories included Count Chocula and Golden Grahams. And there must be a secret society of cereal eaters who love getting their mouths cut up, because No. 3 Cap'n Crunch had a solid victory over Honeycomb.

Today's upset was No. 11 Cinnamon Life over No. 3 Wheaties. Breakfast of what? That's what I thought. Apple Jacks pulled off the upset of No. 3 Raisin Bran and would be this year's Cinderella had they not held that title for the last five years (coughGonzagacough).

Flakes won over Pops in the battle of the Corn. Frosted Flakes again asserted its dominance, laying the smackdown to Golden Crisp. Twenty-one to two? Wasn't even that close.

No. 1 seed Lucky Charms had to brush back Cocoa Krispies. I think the chocolate's game plan was hurt when one voter couldn't spell Krispies with a K even thought it was written right there for him. But hey, it's about what's in the bowl, not what the fans think, right?

Finally, fuck you fucking fuckers for not voting Frosted Mini Wheats into the Sweet Sixteen.

 

Re: Starch Madness -- Second Round, page 3

Voting will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on Sunday.


MY SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN

Grandma's House Sectional (at Golden Valley, Minn.)
1. Cheerios
5. Cocoa Puffs

6. Count Chocula
7. Fruit Loops


Raisin Hell Sectional (at Battle Creek, Mich.)
1. Corn Flakes
4. Honey Bunches of Oats

3. Rice Krispies
7. Apple Jacks


Sugar Fix Sectional (at Peterborough, Ont) *group of death
1. Lucky Charms
5. Trix

3. Cap'n Crunch
2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch


Midnight Snack Sectional (at La Jolla, Calif.)
1. Frosted Flakes
4. Fruity Pebbles

11. Cinnamon Life
2. Golden Grahams

 

Re: Starch Madness -- SWEET SIXTEEN, page 5

Sirs, Madames,

This just in:

Division III champions: Kellogg's Pep.

YHS, etc

 

Re: Starch Madness -- SWEET SIXTEEN, page 5

MY SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN

Grandma's House Sectional (at Golden Valley, Minn.)
5. Cocoa Puffs

6. Count Chocula


Raisin Hell Sectional (at Battle Creek, Mich.)
1. Corn Flakes

7. Apple Jacks


Sugar Fix Sectional (at Peterborough, Ont) *group of death
1. Lucky Charms

2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch


Midnight Snack Sectional (at La Jolla, Calif.)
1. Frosted Flakes

2. Golden Grahams

 

Re: Starch Madness -- SWEET SIXTEEN, page 5

Oh, naming this round was worth it just to make mike type "My Super Sweet Sixteen".

The Cereal Correspondent has handicapped the next round for us. I think I'll pay him in Golden Grahams:


Preview of the My Super Sweet 16 round:

Grandma's House Sectional (at Golden Valley, Minn.)

1. Cheerios vs. 5. Cocoa Puffs.

The Cuckoos succumb to <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9425907/">the Cheerio effect</a>, proving once and for all that a round object will not fit into a smaller round hole. Winner: Cheerios

6. Count Chocula vs. 7. Fruit Loops

<a href="http://www.electricferret.com/fights/issue_184.htm">These guys</a> say Toucan Sam has a mean streak, once witnessed pecking out the eyes of the Lucky Charms leprechaun. Who are we to argue? Winner: Fruit Loops

Raisin Hell Sectional (at Battle Creek, Mich.)

1. Corn Flakes def. 4. Honey Bunches of Oats

According to the Battle Creek Historical Society, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_flakes#History">Dr. John Harvey Kellogg</a>, a devout supporter of abstinence, "believed that spicy or sweet foods would increase passions. In contrast, corn flakes would have an anaphrodisiac property and lower the sex drive." Boo, abstinence! Hooray, beer! Winner: Honey Bunches of Oats

3. Rice Krispies vs. 7. Apple Jacks

According to Wiki, the first Apple Jacks mascot in the early 1960s was <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4f/Box1020.jpg">"Apple Head"</a>, a figure made from cutting a face onto a real apple and applying a hat and pieces of cereal for eyes. That cracks me up. Winner: Apple Jacks

Sugar Fix Sectional (at Peterborough, Ont) *group of death

1. Lucky Charms vs. 5. Trix

Can you imagine <a href="http://www.lavasurfer.com/gm-lcwiz.gif">this guy</a> saying, "They're always after me lucky charms!" Thankfully, I wasn't born in 1975 -- when Waldo the Wizard replaced Lucky the Leprechaun for a brief period of time because he performed better in focus groups and market tests in New England. Waldo was quickly retired, and Lucky was reinstated a year later. Good move. Winner: Lucky Charms

3. Cap'n Crunch vs. 2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch

O cap'n, my cap'n ... are you gellin? Cap'n Crunch is. Horatio Magellan Crunch -- not to be confused with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Draper">the Vietnam War vet</a> who was sentenced to five years' probation for "phone phreaking" before serving as a mentor to Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak in the mid-1970s -- was voiced by the legendary <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daws_Butler">Daws Butler</a>, who also lent his voice to Yogi Bear and Huckleberry Hound. Hey, Boo Boo! Winner: Cap'n Crunch


Midnight Snack Sectional (at La Jolla, Calif.)

1. Frosted Flakes vs. 4. Fruity Pebbles

Tony the Tiger is on a Runnin' Rebels-esque run, circa 1990, in the Starch Madness bracket. Notable UNLV alums include adult film stars Ashlyn Gere and Veronica Hart (find the links yourself 8)). Also, Ickey Woods. The Tigers shuffle on into the Elite Eight. Winner: Frosted Flakes

11. Cinnamon Life vs. 2. Golden Grahams

Did you know? In the "Deep Space Homer" episode of The Simpsons, Homer sings the Golden Grahams theme tune while the shuttle he is occupying hurtles toward Earth at an unimaginable speed. At the same time, the other occupants of the shuttle, Buzz Aldrin and Race Banyon hum "The Battle Hymn of the Republic". Winner: Golden Grahams

- Cereal Correspondent

 

Re: Starch Madness -- SWEET SIXTEEN, page 5

MY SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN

Grandma's House Sectional (at Golden Valley, Minn.)
1. Cheerios

6. Count Chocula


Raisin Hell Sectional (at Battle Creek, Mich.)
1. Corn Flakes

3. Rice Krispies


Sugar Fix Sectional (at Peterborough, Ont) *group of death
1. Lucky Charms

3. Cap'n Crunch


Midnight Snack Sectional (at La Jolla, Calif.)
1. Frosted Flakes

11. Cinnamon Life

 

Re: Starch Madness -- SWEET SIXTEEN, page 5

Y'all a bunch a haters!

Grandma's House Sectional (at Golden Valley, Minn.)
1. Cheerios
5. Cocoa Puffs

6. Count Chocula
7. Fruit Loops


Raisin Hell Sectional (at Battle Creek, Mich.)
1. Corn Flakes
4. Honey Bunches of Oats

3. Rice Krispies
7. Apple Jacks


Sugar Fix Sectional (at Peterborough, Ont) *group of death
1. Lucky Charms
5. Trix

3. Cap'n Crunch
2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch


Midnight Snack Sectional (at La Jolla, Calif.)
1. Frosted Flakes
4. Fruity Pebbles

11. Cinnamon Life
2. Golden Grahams