Strange names

The greatest play he ever made was to make people believe he didn't exist.


(BTW, can't believe nobody's made a "unique johnson" joke yet.)

 

Once covered a kid named Coke Dick.

He was an offensive lineman.

 

Brock Lee
Wilson Biblehiemer
Mister Jones

 

Obviously he's not American, but I used to cover current Memphis hoops freshman Hippolyte Tsafack. He was listed on the roster under his full name of Hippolyte Ngoufack Tsafack, which is absolutely magnificent.

 

Fabulous Flournoy and Miracle Fingers were at the same school I covered at the same time. Fab played men's basketball. Miracle played women's basketball. Johnny D. can claim them too, I think.

 

That's Wonderful Terrific Monds, and I think his son (Wonderful III) is a recruit now.

 

My high school's football team had a player named Mohammed Mohammed.

 

My sister has a sister-in-law who is a retired school principal. There were two girls at her school with the names Asshole (pronounced Ash-oh-lee) and Shithead (pronounced Sha-theed).

 

If that is true, that is the greatest thing ever! Must have been a helluva time for all the substitute teachers.

"Is Asshole here today? How about Shithead?"

"What'd you just call me?!"

 

Once met a woman whose name was Shadynasty, pronounced Sha-dynasty. Of course, people were prone to mispronounce it as Shady-nasty.

 

I know it sounds like a joke, but it's true. The principal, who was a 12-month employee, managed to see the names before the new school year started. She was in almost in a near panic trying to find someone who might know how to pronounce the names before the new school year started so she could inform school personnel.

 

Shut the fuck up. That's awesome.