Summer Drinks

I took some freshly squeezed orange juice from the local market (they don't sell beer and they're closed on Sunday, but if you're here, you'll get over it for their OJ) and mixed it with some 99 Bananas, a 44.5%-alcohol banana schnapps that has more kick than Lucy Liu during her time of the month1. Good, good stuff.

Not so good: Absolut Pears. I tried an airplane bottle of it a few days ago. Verdict -- one part pear taste, 12 parts uvula death. The Bacardi Red Peach is pretty good. Peach-infused spirits2 are made of win and tasty.

1 -- Referring to the second weekend of each month, when she participates in a standing mixed martial arts tournament. What the fuck did you think I meant?
2 -- But for the love of all that has the ability to love, don't buy the cheap schnapps. Don't be that guy. Or girl.

 

I stopped at a different location of that local market. I remember the first time I stopped there when I moved in and basically lost my mind when I realized they didn't sell beer. So I basically have to get my beer from Wal-Mart. Boooo.

Plus, Wal-Mart's way cheaper on groceries. But the local chain's fruits are way fresher...just cost an arm and a leg.

 

Beer from Wal-Mart = nectar of the Gods

 

If I remember the story, the place I'm thinking of doesn't sell beer not because they're Christian (though that's why they don't open on Sunday). One of their kids was killed in a drunk-driving accident, and that's why they don't do beer/wine.

Back to the topic: my Carolina homies have promised to hook me up with some foul inbred Southern concoction involving a washtub and every damned liquor on the premises next time I'm there. I will make my report known when and if I regain the ability to type after that day.

 

Wild Turkey with a Sierra Nevada back — a drink for all seasons.

 

I need help finding a recipe. I googled it and only found one site with a recipe for it (alldrinks.com or something like that...), and it's not the correct one (it tasted funny).

Anyway, I just got back from vacation, and at the resort we stayed at, I ordered something called a "Habana Lights". It was in Mexico, so it may also be "Havanah lights" or something like that.

Anyone know where I can find a recipe for that?

 

http://www.webtender.com/db/drink/456

Best I could do for you, Rusty. But check around webtender. It's a damn good site.

 

Is it possible to screw up drinks as badly as I do without being otherwise completely worthless?

 

Yes, but you have to be worth your weight in throwaway sex.

 

When it's good, you don't throw it away, Meat.

 

Lovin' me some Red Hook Sunrye Summer Ale.

 

So how'd this go?

You're not kidding. Like someone melted a plastic pear into perfectly good Absolut.

But try the Grey Goose Pear...wow. Truly genius. Don't wreck it with any garnish or mixes....only on the rocks.