Taking a vacation from the board: Why?

Yeah, YF is correct. He does have a name here, now that he pointed it out. But I don't think he's posted here since spnited died.

 

I remember that post as funnier than it actually was.

 

Isn't there anything we can do to get clubber back?

And who was "sportswriter"?

 

Well, Chet, it's far removed from its context, and from the Hockeybeat who was here then, who was ubiquitous and occasionally went postal. My understanding is he's in a much calmer place, state of mind-wise, and that's good to hear.

 

Completely understand that as I also recall the fueding that was taking place. I lurked and read all the slams even if I did not always know the back story. I rememeber Clubber as being pretty funny even if the schtick was a bit worn.

 

History has been kind to him. At the time, quite a few folks weren't enamored. I talked to him real a time or two; good guy.

 

I remember being Clubber's biggest fan initially.

The guy was freaking hilarious, but Dooley is right, a lot of people didn't like him early on.

 

I wasn't a huge Clubber fan back then. I later came to understand the persona he was playing.

 

I did the one and only 'Interview With Clubber' (a response to his interviews with other board members), I'll have to look for it.

Agree with Dooley about context. At that time, this was a pretty small place, maybe 20 people were responsible for 90% of the posts. There was no such thing as 'oh, I didn't see that thread.' There was one board and everyone read everything. There were no inside jokes, because everyone knew what they were.

To answer YF, 'sportswriter' (who later changed her name to 'Monday') was a young woman who managed to alienate every single person on the board. If you asked everyone who was here at that time, you would get a different story from each member. It was quite impressive, in retrospect.

I do recall the final days of that drama, on the ill-fated anti-shoutout thread, where she repeatedly said there was a story she wanted to tell but she wasn't going to tell it. Even Alma (nee Chinatown) was telling her to stop. It was ultimately Mizzou who told her (paraphrasing here) to kill herself, or something like that. Sounds mean now, but at the time, it was almost merciful.

 

21 DOES CLUBBER: The Interview

21: The long-awaited interview. Had to be done by a pro, the best in the business.
21: Unfortunately, Ahmad Rashad was busy. So I cancelled my poker night with Maria Shriver to be here.
21: I think i'm nervous. You're a such a big star.
ClubbersFanClub: well, yeah
ClubbersFanClub: i'm nice tho
21: Really? That's not what Sandy says
ClubbersFanClub: who believes anything sandy says? sandy's word is about as good as jayson blair's
21: Maybe Sandy IS jayson blair.
ClubbersFanClub: i wouldn't doubt it
ClubbersFanClub: so is this the interview? or should I ask you later if you wanna hump?
21: Ask me later. I don't know you well enough yet.
ClubbersFanClub: it's on you, you're in charge
21: You like women who take charge?
ClubbersFanClub: don't matter to me
ClubbersFanClub: i can play either way
21: Maybe that's the whole mother thing.
ClubbersFanClub: oh, you're a psychologist, too?
21: This business with humping mothers...do you not know any gals your own age?
ClubbersFanClub: yes, i do, plenty ... most of the mothers i actually hump are mothers of young children, not mine of course
ClubbersFanClub: except sandy's mom, she's smokin
21: So she'd be, what, around 80?
ClubbersFanClub: you think sandy's like 60?
ClubbersFanClub: or 50?
21: We'll get back to that. I picture you with more of a Topanga type of girl.
ClubbersFanClub: well, topanga was hot
ClubbersFanClub: i'll give you that
21: Although a little chunky. What was up with that? Did she not have access to salad?
ClubbersFanClub: well, what topanga are we talkin?
ClubbersFanClub: cuz i mean we saw her grow up
21: Topanga after she married Corey when they were 16.
ClubbersFanClub: i thought they were like 18
ClubbersFanClub: but i know what you mean
21: What's the difference, all completely immoral.
ClubbersFanClub: she was still fuckable
21: Whoa, you would not say that to Barbara Walters.
ClubbersFanClub: are you revealing that you are barbara walters?
21: She wishes.
21: She loves my tits.
ClubbersFanClub: doesn't everyone?
ClubbersFanClub: you seem to breast feed the entire board?
21: They do seem hungry.
21: back to Sandy.....
21: Is it true about Sandy's underpants, that you cut out all the bottoms, so when he put them on, they went all the way up to his neck?
ClubbersFanClub: woah.
ClubbersFanClub: hold up. i have done a damn thing with sandy's underpants, never would
ClubbersFanClub: they're all stained from his dreams of me anyway
21: So for the record:
21: You are not K---- D-----.
21: You do not live in Chicago.
ClubbersFanClub: true
ClubbersFanClub: true
21: You do not own a Members Only jacket.
ClubbersFanClub: true again
21: Too bad, some chicks like that kind of thing.
21: They're insane, but probably need to be laid.
ClubbersFanClub: insane and needs to be laid is my diagnosis, too
21: No girlfriend?
ClubbersFanClub: nope
21: Why not?
ClubbersFanClub: don't really do the relationship thing
21: last time you got laid?
21: By a human?
ClubbersFanClub: i have friends who fulfill needs, that's about all i need
21: Wow, those are nice friends.
21: I have friends, they won't even bring in my mail.
ClubbersFanClub: girlfriends need presents and shit
ClubbersFanClub: who got time for that
21: Not all need presents. I am not a present kind of girlfriend.
21: I'm only in it for the sex.
ClubbersFanClub: are you suggesting something?
21: Whoa, both hands on the keyboard, buddy.
ClubbersFanClub: i should say the same to you
ClubbersFanClub: you want me
ClubbersFanClub: it's obvious
21: I am completely committed to another man.
21: Anyway. How's the humping roommate.
ClubbersFanClub: he's layin on the couch watching tv
21: Go spill something on him.
21: See if he gets up.
ClubbersFanClub: naw, he'll fuckin whine, then i won'thear the end of it
21: maybe he's really sandy!
ClubbersFanClub: ya never know
ClubbersFanClub: he's got a real man's name tho
ClubbersFanClub: not that sandy, kelly, crap
ClubbersFanClub: i don't know why any man would assume a name like sandy
21: Maybe that's his mom's name
ClubbersFanClub: i don't know nothin about his mama
21: Liar.
ClubbersFanClub: swear
21: I saw you sneakin out of the assisted living facility at 2 am
ClubbersFanClub: see, i knew you wanted me, you're stalking me
21: i just wanted to borrow some money
21: Boom likes presents.
ClubbersFanClub: i'll give YOU a present
21: Really? What?
ClubbersFanClub: a little of clubber's boom
21: I got more boom than I can handle, baby.
21: Come on, impress me.
ClubbersFanClub: come on what?
21: Right now, probably your laptop.
ClubbersFanClub: what about your lap and your top?
21: You would never say that to Katie Couric.
ClubbersFanClub: katie couric would never try to interview me
21: She's a chickenshit, I know.
ClubbersFanClub: but would you do her?
21: Yuck, all those teeth....not my type.
ClubbersFanClub: but you'd hump a girl?
21: Nope--I'm into men. Big men, big hands.
21: Hey, who is doing the interviewing?
21: What kind of men are YOU into?
ClubbersFanClub: i'm not into men
21: Katie? Or barbara?
ClubbersFanClub: that's not much of a choice.. that's like who's cooler sandy or almost famous?
21: How about Suzy Kolber? I can fix you up.
ClubbersFanClub: does she give good head?
21: Define good head.
ClubbersFanClub: no teeth, for one
21: Okay, no teeth. back to the Moms, I see.
ClubbersFanClub: you think this will slide past the SportsJournalists.com censors?
21: we'll see. Did you know, if you type c*nt they change it to pussycat?
21: Okay, final thoughts: Bell Biv Devoe.
ClubbersFanClub: bell biv devoe? you want some thoughts....
ClubbersFanClub: you can do me in the morning, you can do me in the night ...
ClubbersFanClub: smack it up, flip it, rub it down....
21: See, you had me at 'do me in the night'
21: Lost me with the smacking.
ClubbersFanClub: i had you when this interview started
21: I got Nelly on the line. Booty call. Gotta go!
ClubbersFanClub: aight...well g'nite

 

Clubber came to one of the impromptu gatherings—in DC, if I'm remembering right. Pretty hilarious night. At the end, it was me, Heady, IJAG, and Clubber in an otherwise empty bar. I'm pretty sure everyone else had sex with each other.* I remained faithful, as I was back then, to my hotel sink.

*Totally making this up. I think.

 

I didn't have sex with anyone who was there.

That night.